


Sins of the past

by clexa_has_ruined_me



Category: Clarke Griffin - Fandom, Clexa Fandon, Lexa Woods - Fandom, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alernate Universe, Angst, Azgeda, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Clexa, Detective Clarke, Detective Lexa, Detectives, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/F, Flirting, Hotel Rooms, Ice Nation - Freeform, Lesbian Sex, Murder Mystery, Possible smut, Secrets, Slow Burn, clexa arguing, end of world cult, mentions of children being abducted and tortured, mentions of death and murder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-02-14 16:57:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13012137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexa_has_ruined_me/pseuds/clexa_has_ruined_me
Summary: Clarke and Lexa are detectives from different counties, thrown together after the gruesome discovery of a young girls body.The detectives get off on the wrong foot and have to learn to work together. It's a bit more complicated than that, but I suck at summaries.Oh also, i know nothing about about police work or science, so unless you're as blissfully ignorant as me, this may be hard to read lol





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys. here's the deal. I have this whole big story in my head. It's a bit different from what I've done before. I guess before I really get too into it, I'm looking for a little feedback from you fine readers, see if anyone would even be interested in reading it. Let me know what you think is working and what's not. I have the general story all laid out in my mind. so would just like to know what you're thoughts are on this first chapter. any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks : )

It’s 7am on a Monday morning at the Arcadia police department, Detective Clarke Griffin is the only one on the floor. Clarke was the first detective at the scene of a gruesome murder over the weekend, a young girl, no older than 13, Clarke estimates. The girl was found in an abandoned glass factory with a 2-meter-long spear right through her throat.

Clarke hasn’t been able to get the image of the girl out of her mind since she left the scene. Her body was bruised and battered, she looked as though she’d been in a warzone. She had crude, tribal looking tattoos on her arms, Dirt and blood stained her young skin. Tattered rags barely covering her body along with what appeared to be some pretty flimsy, homemade armour. The blood of at least 4 different people was found on and around her body. 

Clarke has only been an active detective for just under a year, she has never seen anything quite like this. Clarke began her career as a medical examiner, so the young detective is somewhat accustomed to seeing horrific things, but something about the scene she walked in to on Saturday has left her very unsettled. 

“Good morning sweetheart.” 

Clarke is brought out of her thoughts by her captain as he greets her on his way to his office.

“Good morning, Captain Pike.” Clarke replies, trying not to let her indignation at the captains ‘term of endearment’ show. 

No one ever called her sweetheart when she was wearing her white coat. Clarke has been surprised at the difference in culture from the medical examiner’s office to the detective unit. Clarke is only just 30, so she’s one of the younger detectives in the squad, she has blonde hair, and no one could deny that she is an attractive woman. She is just as qualified, if not more so than anyone else on the floor, but she still receives a lot of patronizing bullshit from her male counter parts.

Clarke is flicking through photos of the crime scene as she impatiently waits for the most recent report from the coroner’s office to arrive. The detective is so focused on the image in front of her that she doesn’t notice another presence at her desk.

“Excuse me.” 

Clarke’s eyes shoot up immediately to see a young woman standing on the other side of her desk. Clarke is struck instantly by the woman’s beauty, It’s generally not something she really notices when regarding someone for the first time, but this is not the kind of beauty you see every day. She’s tall and slim, her posture is flawless as she stands on the other side of Clarke’s desk. Her long brown hair is tied up in a high ponytail. prominent cheek bones, a sharp jawline and piercing green eyes.

Clarke’s eyes move on their own volition, moving down then back up the length of the brunette’s body. She’s wearing dark grey slacks and a white blouse with the sleeves rolled halfway up her forearm. Clarke notices the badge she has hooked onto her belt, it looks different from any she’s been before.

“Yes, sorry. Can I help you.” Clarke finally speaks when she notices the girl giving her a funny look.

“Detective Griffin?” The woman asks

“Yes.” Clarke replies

“I’m Detective Sergeant Lexa woods, of the Polis police department.” The woman holds out her hand.

“Was I expecting you?” Clarke asks wearily as she shakes the sergeants hand.

“I emailed your captain last night to notify him of my intention to visit with you.” The woman replies.

Clarke looks behind her at the captains’ office before looking back at the woman at her desk. 

“Oh, I guess he forgot to tell me.” Clarke feels a little embarrassed. “Polis? That’s..”

“It’s a few hours from here, in Maine.” Lexa informs the blonde.

“Okay, so what brings you to Arcadia, detective woods?” Clarke asks.

“The body that was found on Saturday, a young girl with a spear through her throat. You were the detective on the scene?” Lexa pauses for a second, so Clarke can confirm that she has the right person.

“Oh yeh. Yes. That was me. I’m actually just waiting for the coroner’s report to come through.” Clarke motions down at her computer. The sergeant’s eyes follow, and she notices pictures of the crime scene on Clarke’s desktop. Clarke watches the brunette’s face change, she can’t quite explain it, her expression remains stoic, but her eyes change. 

“May I?” The brunette pushes past Clarke to get to her computer before the blonde has a chance to reply. Detective woods scrolls through the pictures, studying them closely. 

When the sergeant finishes looking at the pictures she stands and walks back to the other side of Clarke’s desk.

“I believe this is related to a case I have been working on for some time.” Detective wood’s informs the blonde.

“Really? that’s great.” Clarke starts. “I’d be grateful for any information you could give me.”

“You don’t need to worry about it Detective Griffin.” Lexa says coolly. “I will speak to my captain about having the case moved over to my precinct.”

Lexa grabs a little notepad and pen from her pocket and scribbles something down.

“Here is my email address. Please forward me any information you have compiled as well as the coroner’s report as soon as it comes in.” The sergeant rips the paper out of the pad and places it on Clarke’s desk.

“What?!” Clarke says dumbfounded. “You can’t just take the case. The girl’s body was found in Arcadia. It’s out of your jurisdiction. This is my crime scene. If you want to assist me on the case, I’d appreciate the help, but you can’t just waltz in here and take it.”

Clarke notices the sergeant’s nostrils flare slightly as the brunette takes in what she just said. If looks could kill, Clarke would be on her way to the morgue. 

“Detective Griffin.” The woman speaks with restraint. “This is my case.”

The sergeant stands a little taller and places her hands behind her back. “How long have you been a detective?”  
Lexa can tell the girl is green, she has no intention of sharing this case with anyone, let alone a rookie.

“Just over a year.” Clarke replies. “Why is that relevant?”

“Choose your battles Clarke.” Lexa starts. “It only takes one wrong step this early in your career to gravely impact your future.”

“Are you trying to intimidate me Sergeant?” Clarke stands a little straighter herself, refusing to show any sign of weakness.

“Not at all detective.” The woman replies casually. “Just giving you some advice. This case means more to me than my career, what does it mean to you?”

Lexa stops and locks eyes with Clarke, waiting for an answer, but Clarke has no idea what to say, so the blonde remains silent.

“Choose your battles Clarke.” Lexa continues. “That’s all I’m saying. My captain will be in touch about the case.”

At that the Sergeant turns and walks away leaving the blonde absolutely seething.

________________________

 

Clarke walks straight into her captain’s office.

“Do you know who just visited me?” Clarke asks.

When Pike stares at her blankly she continues. “Detective Sergeant Woods, from Polis police department.”

“Oh yes!” Pike remembers. “She did email me last night to say she would be coming out to speak to you about the dead girl from the weekend.”

“She says she’s going to take the case from me!” Clarke cries.

“What?!” Pike asks. “Well she can’t do that.”

“I know!” Clarke agrees. “So, if her captain contacts you about handing over the case you’ll tell her no?”

“Of course I will!” Pike exclaims. “If they want to work with us, I will be more than happy to accommodate that. but coming over here and demanding we hand the case over! The nerve.”

“Okay.” Clarke breathes. “Good. Thank you, sir.”

Clarke walks out of her Captains office feeling a little less worked up than when she went in. the blonde can’t believe what just transpired. To walk into someone else’s precinct and just casually demand possession of one of their cases. What on earth was going on in Detective wood’s mind? Clarke knows she hasn’t heard the end of this, she just hopes the next time she see’s Lexa woods she comes with an attitude adjustment. 

 

_______________________

“Anya!” Lexa cries as she paces around her hotel room, her phone on speaker on the dresser. “This is my case! This is our case! I can’t believe you’re not backing me on this.”

“You can’t just storm into another precinct and demand they hand one of their cases over to you Lexa!” Anya sighs.

“It’s my case!” Lexa replies angrily.

“The body was found in their county.” Anya argues. “Captain pike is more than happy for you to work with detective griffin on this.”

“Are you kidding me?” Lexa sneers. “I’m not working with that girl. she’ll get in the way. I need to be able to approach this my way.”

“You’re lucky I’m letting you work this case at all Lexa!” Anya replies. “You’re way to close to this. It would be good for you to have an objective partner.”

“Anya!” Lexa responds. “This is the best lead we’ve had since they took him! I need you to back me up now. I need to be on point on this. I can’t have this Griffin girl getting involved, I need to be able to do whatever it takes. I can’t do that with someone watching my every move.”

“That’s exactly why I need you to work with her.” Anya sighs. “You’re too emotionally involved, you’ll get sloppy, you’ll make mistakes, I need to know there’s someone out there with you making sure you don’t get yourself killed.”

“None of that matters if I find him.” Lexa starts.

“Lexa!” 

“Anya please!” Lexa interrupts. 

“Enough Lexa!” Anya demands. “It’s this way or not at all, I’m talking to you as your Captain, Lexa. You will respect my decision. End of conversation.”

When Lexa doesn’t reply Anya continues. “Will that be all Sergeant?”

“Yes.” Lexa says through gritted teeth. “Thanks for your time Captain.” Lexa spits out before hanging up the phone.

 

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬_____________________________

 

Lexa walks through the detective’s offices at Arcadia police department later that day, she finds Clarke at her desk.

“Back so soon.” Clarke says straight faced as Lexa approaches.

“Yes.” Lexa mutters. “Look Clarke. This case is very important to me. I have no choice but to work it with you.”

Lexa notices Clarke grit her teeth a little, but she continues. “Nothing is more important to me than solving this. If you get in my way or even slow me down, I will leave you behind.”

“I don’t want to get in your way Lexa. I believe I will be a help, not a hindrance.” Clarke stands from her desk as she replies. “I want to find whoever did this as much as you do.”

“Is there somewhere we can work?” Lexa moves on.

“Yes.” Clarke says grabbing her laptop of the desk. “Follow me.”

Lexa follows the blonde into one of the stations conference rooms.

“We can work in here.” Clarke drops her things down on the large desk that sits in the centre of the room.

Lexa opens her bag and pulls out a very thick file, she places it on the table and flips it open.

“This is everything I have on the case.” Lexa informs the blonde. “I believe your Jane doe is Tris green. She was reported missing from Polis last April. There has been a total of 3 children under the age of 15 who have gone missing from Maine in the last year as well as numerous others from New York, Massachusetts all over the north-eastern states of America, as well as parts of Canada. Seemingly unrelated, except for one thing they all share in common.”

Lexa stops to make sure Clarke is still following her. 

“Have you heard of night blood? Lexa asks.

“Yes.” Clarke nods. “It’s a rare blood condition. Less than 2% of the population are born with it. It’s a bit of a medical mystery. Night blood is universally compatible with all other blood types as a donor, but hosts can only receive night blood, any other blood type is rejected by their system. Also, tests have shown subjects with night blood have incredibly strong immune systems and possess an elevated resistance to radiation poising amongst other things.

Lexa raises her eyebrows, impressed by Clarke’s response.

“I am a medical doctor.” Clarke informs the brunette. “I was a medical examiner before I was a detective.”

“Oh.” Lexa says. “Well that’s helpful.”

“It comes in handy sometimes.” Clarke smiles. 

“So.” Lexa continues. “There is a cult that calls themselves ‘The ice nation’ they originate from a town called Azgeda in Greenland, but they have cells throughout Canada and the united states. They believe the end of the world is coming in the form of a radiation wave, they believe night blood is the key to their salvation. Around 20 years ago Ice nation began abducting children with night blood. They call them ‘night bleeders’, they believed they would find a messiah, or what they would call their ‘Commander’, amongst these children, they trained them to fight. brainwashed them with their beliefs, carried out scientific experiments on them, put them through all sorts of torturous trials before throwing them all into a fight to the death. Their ‘conclave’. They believed the winner would be the one who leads them in the new world after the radiation hits.”

“How do you know all this?” Clarke asks.

“The night bleeder who won that conclave escaped.” Lexa explains. “Luna, She gave the police a very detailed account of what happened. The cult moved swiftly after her escape though, they disappeared without a trace. That was in 2003. 14 years ago.”

“14 years ago.” Clarke thinks out load. “You wouldn’t have been on the force then.”

“No.” Lexa confirms. “My sister Anya was the lead detective on the case. She spoke about it a lot, I was always fascinated by it. when I noticed the pattern starting again last year I took it upon myself to re-open the case.”

“Why have I never heard of this?” Clarke asks. 

“Luna’s claims could never be substantiated.” Lexa replies. “There was evidence of the ordeal all over her body, but that was all, it wasn’t enough to prove Her claims, most people dismissed her story as the ravings of a crazy homeless kid” 

“But not your sister?” Clarke asks.

“No. She believed her. she was the only one.” Lexa sighs. “I believe The Ice nation are trying again. They have at least 3 night bleeders already, that’s from Maine alone, If I’m right about the missing kids from neighbouring states, they may have more, they almost certainly have more.” Lexa states.

“So why did they kill this girl?” Clarke asks looking down at her monitor. “Does that mean that this conclave has already begun?”

“Maybe.” Lexa replies. “They do kill children who refuse to participate. She may have been made an example of for the other children. What were the circumstances that led to her discovery?”

“A man who works at a gas station down the road from the abandoned factory had noticed people on the property. He reported the trespassing to the police.” Clarke starts. “When police arrived they found the girl, she had only died moments before they got to the scene. Her body was still warm, blood still pouring out of her neck”

“The police might have interrupted them.” Lexa speculates. “They might have been tipped off or saw them coming and ran, not having the time to take the body.”

“Makes sense.” Clarke agrees. “But how sure are you that this is related? That it’s the same cult?”

“The markings on the girls’ arms, the weapon used, the clothes and armour she’s wearing. It’s exactly as Luna described in her statement.” Lexa replies.

“Okay.” Clarke breathes “So where do you want to start?”

“I think I would like to talk to the gas station attendant.” Lexa replies.

“Sounds like a good place to start.” Clarke responds before collecting up Lexa’s file of the desk. “You drive. I’ll catch up on some of this in the car.”

 

________________________

 

“A left up here, then about 3 miles down the road.” Clarke directs Lexa.

“Do you have a copy of the girl’s statement?” Clarke asks. “Luna? Can we arrange a time to interview her?”

“I do have a copy, It’s on my computer. I will email it to you. we can’t interview her. She was terrified for her life once she escaped, My sister gave her a new identity and hid her, Anya is the only person who knows where she is, She has spoken to her, she has no new information. Anya doesn’t want us dragging her back into all of this”

Clarke wants to argue the point, but decides to let this one go for now.

“Just here.” Clarke points at a rundown old gas station.

Lexa’s eyes dart around as they walk into the station, taking in every detail. She notices a camera pointing at the gas pumps, obviously installed to catch petrol thieves, but perhaps they have caught a glimpse of something else.

“Hi Ladies” An elderly man in greasy overalls approaches the pair. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m Detective woods and this is Detective Griffin.” Lexa introduces. “We’d like to ask you some questions regarding the trespassing you reported on Saturday evening.”

“Oh yes.” The man sighs as he takes of his cap and rings it in his hands. “I can’t believe what they found over there. has the world gone completely mad?”

“Would you mind answering a few questions for us?” Clarke asks the man.

“Of course.” The man replies. “I already gave the police a statement, but I’m happy to help anyway I can.”

“How long had you been noticing activity across the road?” Lexa begins questioning. “Was it just on that night? Or had it been going on over time?”

“I first noticed it last weekend, It was late at night and I was sweeping out the front before closing up when I noticed light coming from inside one of the buildings. I didn’t think too much off it, but when I noticed it again on Saturday I decided to report it to the police.”

“Have you had any customers come in over the last week that struck you as odd or out of place?” Clarke asks.

“Well, most my customers are regulars, not many outsider folks blow through this way, nothing much worth coming out here for.” The man laughs. “I always notice when an unfamiliar face comes in. there were a couple of new faces over the last week. They didn’t seem odd, just unfamiliar.”

“Does that camera outside work?” Lexa inquires.

“Sure does.” The man replies.

“Great.” Lexa claps her hands. “We’re going to need the last weeks footage as well as a list of the stores credit card transactions from the last 2 months.”

“Sure, no problem.” The man replies. “It might take me a bit to get that together. You ladies want a drink or something while you wait?”

“No thank you.” Lexa replies quickly. “I’m going to go over and check out the scene.”

“I’ll come.” Clarke calls after the brunette who is already making her way out of the shop. 

“We’ll be back in 15.” Clarke tells the man before leaving.

Clarke practically has to run to catch up with Lexa, the brunette has much longer legs and is walking with purpose.

“You think we’re going to find anything on those tapes?” Clarke asks trying not to sound too out of breath once she’s caught up with Lexa.

“Maybe.” Lexa replies. “We have a detailed description of several of the cult members from the girls’ statement, granted it’s been 14 years, but some of the members sound quite distinctive, We might get lucky and find a match.”

The pair continue the rest of the way in silence. Clarke directs Lexa to the crime scene. Lexa seems to enter a different world once she is at the scene. She walks around the dirty factory floor, touching the walls, breathing in the musty smell. she closes her eyes and seems to disappear from her body for a moment, she can’t even hear Clarke speaking to her and the blonde’s only standing a few feet away.

“Lexa.” Clarke tries again.

“Can you feel it?” Lexa asks almost under her breath.

“Feel what?” Clarke asks confused.

“What’s happened here.” Lexa says, her eyes still far away. “That girl isn’t the only one who’s died here. This place reeks of death.”

Clarke watches as Lexa silently turns and walks away in the direction of the gas station. Before quickening her pace to catch up with the girl.

“We found the blood of 4 different people here. You think this is where they were holding their conclave?” Clarke asks.

“Perhaps.” Lexa replies. “Maybe this was a training ground. In her statement, Luna said that she had killed 2 other children during training before the conclave had even begun.”

“That’s awful.” Clarke mumbles to herself. “How old was she?”

“Luna was 15 when she escaped. She couldn’t remember exactly how old she was when she was taken, but Anya estimated she would have been 9 or 10 years old, based on the information she gathered form the girl.”

“Jesus.” Clarke sighs. “So how many children had she killed by the end of the conclave?” 

“7.” Lexa states plainly.

“She admitted that to the police?” Clarke asks confused. “What do they do it that situation.”

“Ultimately the police did not believe her story, they didn’t believe any of it, so they didn’t believe that she had killed anybody. Perhaps that was the best thing for Luna. My sister helped her disappear, Anya worked the case for a long time, even unofficially once she was told to drop it, but she never got anywhere with it.

Clarke doesn’t ask any more questions, she walks silently with Lexa back to the gas station and absorbs the information that she’s just received.

 

Lexa waits in the car while Clarke goes back inside the shop to get the videos and credit card transactions from the man.

“I’ll review the video’s if you want to look through the transactions.” Lexa says once Clarke is back in the car. “Any cards that were used in the last week or so but not previously is what we’re looking for.”

“Got it” Clarke replies.

Lexa starts the car and begins the journey back to the station.

“So, your sister is your captain?” Clarke asks, trying to break the silence they’ve been sitting in for the last 25 minutes. 

“Yes.” Lexa replies keeping her eyes on the road.

“What’s that like?” Clarke asks, smiling herself when she notices the corner of Lexa’s lip turn up ever so slightly.

“It can be challenging.” The brunette replies. “Sometimes it’s great, sometimes it’s frustrating as hell.”

Clarke laughs. “At least I bet she doesn’t call you sweetheart like my captain does.”

“No, just ‘kid’ and ‘squirt.’ Lexa responds.

Clarke can’t help but watch the brunette’s face, she still has the tiniest glint of a smile on her lips, but it doesn’t evolve into anything more.

“So, what made you change career?” Lexa asks, wanting to get the subject off herself.

“I always wanted to be a detective, since I was little.” Clarke starts. “My mum was dead set on me following in her footsteps though, she wanted me to be a doctor and I wanted her to make her happy. So, I went to medical school.”

“How did she feel about you getting into forensics?” Lexa asks.

“She wasn’t thrilled.” Clarke laughs.

Lexa looks over at Clarke, the sound of her laughter is something else. It’s husky and sexy. Lexa can’t help but really look at Clarke for a moment, the brunette has been so caught up in the case that she’s barely registered what a stunning girl Clarke is. Lexa quickly looks away when Clarke notices her looking.

“After doing the job for 2 years I just couldn’t take it anymore.” Clarke continues. “It was depressing going to work every day to examine dead bodies, when all I ever wanted to do was be the one out there helping people, finding the bad guys, stopping them. Not just being there to clean up the mess afterwards.”

“Medical examiners are often crucial in finding the perpetrators.” Lexa says matter of factly.

“I know.” Clarke sighs. “I just felt restricted. I wanted to be doing more. I’m glad I went to medical school, and worked in forensics, it helps me a great deal as a detective.” 

Lexa silently nods.

“How about you?” Clarke asks. “Did you always know you wanted to be a detective?”

Lexa is silent for a moment. Clarke watches her intently. She notices the brunette’s eyes shift around and her throat bob a little as she prepares to answer the question.

“Yes, I suppose I did.” Lexa starts. The brunette opens her mouth to say more, but nothing comes out, after a moment she closes her mouth and says no more on the subject. She keeps her eyes on the road and pretends that she doesn’t notice Clarke staring at her out the corner of her eye.

_________________________________

 

“Anything?” Clarke asks as she enters the conference room at Arcadia police department that they’ve set up as their headquarters. Lexa picks up a remote of the table and pauses the video playing in front of her.

“Perhaps.” Lexa replies. “There is one man in these videos that might match one described in Luna’s statement. It’s hard to tell, the footage is pretty poor quality.”

Lexa rips a page out of her notebook and hands it to Clarke. 

“These are the dates and times he visited the station.” Lexa says as she hands Clarke the paper. “See if these coincide with any of the dates you’ve gathered from the credit card transactions.”

“Sure.” Clarke watches as Lexa stands and puts on her jacket before heading to the door. “Where are you going?”

“I may have a lead. It might be nothing though.” Lexa says casually.

“Shouldn’t I come with you?” Clarke asks.

“No, this is more important.” Lexa says pointing to the paper in her hand. “Call me if you find anything.” 

With that Lexa is out the door. Clarke sits at the table and begins comparing Lexa’s notes with the credit card transactions.

 

__________________________

 

Lexa lied to her new partner when she said there might be a match on the video. She knows there’s a match, not just one either. There were two men on the gas station surveillance footage that very clearly resemble Luna’s description. One of them was wearing a cap, sufficiently covering his face, but a very distinctive tattoo on his forearm was on full display, Lexa knows that tattoo belongs to a member of the Ice nation, and not just any member, that tattoo belongs to Roan, the son of the cult’s leader, Nia, and the man’s clumsy attempt at a disguise might just have given away his possible location.

Lexa pulls into the carpark of a pretty standard looking dive bar, nothing special about it. ‘Sneaky Pete’s’ the big, flashing neon sign on the roof reads. It’s not the kind of place Lexa would normally patronize, but right now she has one very good reason to enter this particular bar, and that’s because in the gas station surveillance video, Roan’s hat was sporting this very bar’s name.

Lexa walks into the bar, she’s glad she changed before coming, she would definitely have stood out in her slacks and shirt here. The detective strolls through the bar, she glances at herself as she passes a mirror, she’s wearing skinny black jeans with big black boots, a green T shirt topped off with a leather jacket.

Lexa makes her way to the bar, scanning the place with her eyes, hoping that Roan might be around.

“What’ll you have?” A tall, rough looking man behind the bar asks as she approaches.

“Just a bud thanks.” Lexa replies as she pulls up a stool.

“You waiting on someone?” The bar tender eyes her suspiciously as he pushes the drink over to her.

“Not exactly.” Lexa replies coolly. “I’m looking for someone.”

“Yeh?” The man replies.

“Yeh. A man who I believe might come here.” Lexa responds.

“Why are you looking for this man?” The bar tender inquires.

“He ripped off my mother.” Lexa starts. “She met him on the internet, he took her out a few times, she thought she was in love. Next thing you know he disappears, turns out he gave her a fake name. Then she realizes he’s cleared out her bank account. You know how it goes.”

“Sad story.” The bar tender nods sympathetically. 

“yeh well, I’m not intending to let him get away with it.” Lexa states strongly. “She said he brought her here once. He’s late 30’s, about your build, shoulder length hair, has a big ugly tattoo on his forearm, a biohazard symbol, like this.” Lexa pulls a picture she printed of the internet of the symbol out of her pocket and shows it to the man.

The detective watches the man’s face closely as he looks at the picture, she can tell instantly that he recognizes the symbol.

“Do you think you know the guy I’m talking about?” Lexa prods.

“Looks kinda familiar.” The man replies casually.

“This prick ripped off my mother, she raised me all on her own, she worked hard her whole life. And he just came and took everything she had.” Lexa says with convincing passion. “You really want to protect a dirt bag like that? what would you do if someone did that to your mother?”

“Look girl.” The man starts. “I don’t know what to tell you. I know the guy you’re talking about, but I don’t know him. He comes in sometimes. Not often. Like once a month he might come in. I don’t keep track of my patrons. He keeps to himself, I don’t even know his name.”

“Do you know when he last came in?” Lexa asks.

“I saw him a couple weeks ago.” The man replies. “I hadn’t seen him a long time before that, and I haven’t seen him since.”

“What day was he here?” Lexa asks. “Did you talk to him at all?”

“I think it was a Wednesday night.” The man rubs the back of his neck. “I didn’t talk to him.”

“Does he come in alone?” Lexa persists. 

“Yeh, I’ve only ever seen him on his own.” The man answers. “He comes in, he drinks, he goes, he keeps to himself.”

Lexa lets out a frustrated sigh. “Look.” Lexa says as she leans forward and grabs a pen out from the bartender’s shirt pocket and scribbles her number down on a napkin. “Here’s my number. If he comes in could you let me know?”

Lexa waves the napkin in front of the man. After a moment he takes it hesitantly.

“Look love. This is your problem, not mine. I’m not gonna call you if he comes in. people talk, that shit could be bad for business.”

“I won’t approach him here. No one will know you told me anything.” Lexa pleads. 

“I’m not promising anything.” The bartender says before turning away from Lexa to go serve someone at the other end of the bar.

Lexa turns on her stool and sips on her beer as she looks around the bar. She’s going to need someone surveilling this place 24/7. She can’t depend on the bar tender to contact her if this man comes in. The brunette huffs into her beer, she knows she won’t be able to keep this from Clarke. She was hoping to keep this to herself, she wants to be able to confront Roan without any witnesses.

Lexa leaves what’s left of her beer on the bar and heads back to her car.

____________________________

“Lexa?” Clarke’s voice comes in through the detective’s car speakers.

“What is it Clarke?” Lexa replies. “I’m driving.”

“I just wanted to update you. There was a match with your guy from the surveillance and the transactions. I traced the card. The account was only opened a month ago. I’ve got a name and address; His vehicle is also visible in the footage, so I’ve put an APB out on the car as well. he’s local. Do you want to check it out?”

“Yes. Text me the details.” Lexa replies quickly.

“I need to come with you Lexa.” Clarke responds. 

“I’ll be fine, Clarke.” 

“Lexa, this man could be dangerous. Come on, this is basic procedure. I’m coming with you.” Clarke insists.

“Fine, text me the address. I’ll meet you there.” Lexa gives in.

“please don’t approach him before I get there.” Clarke says before hanging up.

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬______________________

 

Lexa pulls up at the address that Clarke sent her. it’s not what she was expecting. It’s a block of units in a nice suburban street. The brunette hops out of her car and walks into the building and finds the apartment.

Lexa knocks and prepares herself just in case it is the person she came looking for, but her gut is saying it isn’t.

The door swings open and Lexa knows her gut was right.

“Can I help you?” The young man at the door asks cautiously.

“I hope so.” Lexa reaches into her pocket and pulls out her badge. “I’m detective Lexa Woods, I’m following up on a credit card trace that we ran in connection to a crime, the card belongs to a Jason bates. Is that you sir?

“Yes.” The man replies shakily. “But I don’t know anything about a crime.”

“It may be nothing.” Lexa re assures the man. “Do you mind if I ask you some questions quickly?”

“Of course.” The man opens his door and lets the detective in.

After speaking with the man for a few minutes Lexa hears a knock at the door. The man gets up to go answer it. Lexa watches as he opens the door revealing a very unimpressed looking Clarke.

“Hello Clarke.” Lexa stands up. “Jason, this is Detective Clarke Griffin, she’s working with me on this case.”

“Oh, nice to meet you.” Jason smiles at the blonde who is looking straight past him at her partner with murder in her eyes as she enters the room.

“Sorry we started without you Clarke.” Lexa says casually, which only makes Clarke’s blood boil more. “But we’re pretty well done here anyway aren’t we Jason?”

“Um yeh, If you say so.” Jason looks a little confused. 

“It looks like Jason has been the victim of some identity theft.” Lexa informs Clarke. “He’s not the guy we’re looking for.”

“Thank you for your time Jason.” Lexa says as she walks over to shake Jason’s hand before walking to the door. 

“Are you coming Clarke?” Lexa asks the girl who is now standing in the middle of the room looking a little confused.

Clarke lets out a huff as she storms out of the room, completely ignoring Jason’s goodbye as she fly’s past Lexa.

Lexa walks back to her car to find Clarke pacing in front of it.

“What the hell Lexa?” Clarke says through gritted teeth.

“Clarke.” Lexa starts. “It’s not a big deal. I knew as soon as I got here that this wasn’t our guy. If I thought that I was walking into danger I would have waited for you.”

“Lexa!” Clarke cries. “You couldn’t have known that. This was incredibly reckless. I shouldn’t have to tell you that!”

“Clarke.” Lexa says through gritted teeth. “I don’t need you telling me how to do my job. I can take care of myself, you just worry about yourself.”

“What is your problem Lexa?!” Clarke asks angrily. “We’re supposed to be working on this together!”

“I Don’t have a problem, Clarke.” Lexa spits. “You’re the one yelling in the street like a crazy person.”

Before Clarke can fire back at the brunette, Lexa continues.

“Look Clarke, I’m not going to argue with you over this. Sometimes I’m going to do things on my own, I just need you to trust me” Lexa calmly explains.

“Trust you?” Clarke scoffs. “How am I supposed to trust your when you say one thing then do the exact opposite?” 

“Do you remember when I said if you slow me down, I’ll leave you behind.” Lexa asks as she rounds the car to the driver’s side door.

“Sure.” Clarke bites back in frustration.

“You’re slowing me down.” Lexa says as she pulls open the car door. “This is me leaving you behind. True to my word.”

And with that Lexa slides into the driver seat and slams her door closed before starting her car and driving away. Clarke’s left standing in the dust kicked up from Lexa’s car.

“Unbelievable!” Clarke cries out to no one, now that she stands in the middle of the street on her own.

 

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬_____________________________________

 

Lexa heads straight back to Arcadia police department, she needs to set up surveillance for ‘sneaky Pete’s’ and go over the video footage from the gas station again to see if there’s anything she missed. 

The brunette is going over the video footage when she hears the door to the conference room creak open, she winces a little knowing that it’s probably Clarke, and she’s probably about to start an argument. Lexa is surprised as she watches Clarke slump down into the chair across from her looking a little defeated.  
Lexa looks over at the girl but doesn’t say a word.

“Do you want to tell me why you’ve asked to have 24 hour surveillance set up at a bar called sneaky Pete’s?” Clarke askes, clearly feeling a little exasperated.

“The lead I was following up earlier today.” Lexa starts. “There was another man in these tapes that might match Luna’s description, he was wearing a sneaky Pete’s hat. I went to sneaky Pete’s to investigate, the bartender confirmed that the man comes in from time to time. So, I think we should have eyes on the place.”

“Any reason you failed to fill me in on any of this earlier?” Clarke asks.

“Well, we haven’t had much of a chance to catch up today.” Lexa replies, avoiding eye contact with the blonde.

“Lexa.” Clarke sighs. “I can see you’re on some kind of a mission here. But don’t you realize it is counterproductive to actively try and keep me out of the loop? I really can help you with this case. I know I can. Please let me.”

Lexa isn’t sure how to reply. She can understand her new partner’s frustrations, but she’s is not in a position to let the Clarke in on the whole truth, even if she did want to.

“This man from sneaky Pete’s.” Clarke moves on, and Lexa almost feels saddened by Clarke’s defeated tone. “Who do we think he is?”

“Roan.” Lexa replies. “Last name unknown. He is Nia’s son.”

When Clarkes expression doesn’t show full understanding, Lexa elaborates.

“Nia, is the cult leader. She is a psychopath.” Lexa explains.

“Well that’s great!” Clarke exclaims. Now, it’s her turn to elaborate when she’s met with Lexa’s confused expression.

“It’s great that we might have her son!” Clarke continues. “Surely he would be the most valuable person we could get aside from Nia herself.”

“Not necessarily.” Lexa replies. “Luna’s statement eludes to the pair having a somewhat strained relationship. Roan, from her account was not really on board with the Ice nation, he was a bit of a rogue.”

“Jesus.” Clarke sighs. “I really need to get a chance to go over Luna’s statement. There is a lot going on here.”

“There is.” Lexa agrees. 

“So, if Roan shows up at sneaky Pete’s do we approach him or follow him?” Clarke asks.

“I would say follow.” Lexa replies. “find out where he is staying. Monitor he’s activity, he may lead us straight to the ice nation. But honestly, I would say the ice nation cleared out of here on Saturday night. If he’s still around, he’s probably been left behind. But we’d know more after a few days of observation.”

“Okay.” Clarke says as she stands from her seat. “Well If there’s nothing of great importance happening right now, I might take these folders home with me and try to catch up on this whole story.”

“I think that’s a good idea.” Lexa says quietly.

The brunette watches Clarke collect up numerous manila folders from the desk, she gets to the door before Lexa stops her.

“Clarke.”

Clarke turns to look at Lexa.

“I am sorry that I’ve been so….” Lexa furrows her brow as she tries to think of the correct word for her behaviour.

“Rude?” Clarke jumps in for her.

Lexa can’t help the smile that tugs at her lips at Clarke’s frankness.

“Yes.” Lexa allows the term. “I just have a one-track mind when it comes to this case. It’s nothing personal.”

“Okay.” Clarke shrugs her shoulders and forces a small smile, not because she’s forgiven Lexa’s behaviour, more because she appreciates her attempt at civility.

With that Clarke nods and exits the room.

Lexa leaves soon after, taking the surveillance footage with her back to her hotel to go over.

 

_______________________________

 

The next couple of days Clarke and Lexa spend most of their time in the office, Clarke is trying to become as familiar with the case history as she can while Lexa investigates other purchases made with the Jason bate’s credit card.

“So, the guy that used Jason’s card is…”

“Titus.” Lexa finishes for the blonde.

“Hey! I was getting there.” Clarke pouts.

“Sorry.” Lexa rolls her eyes a little.

“We don’t know his last name?” Clarke asks.

“No.” Lexa confirms. “That was one of the issues with Luna’s statement. She didn’t know any last names. not of her captors or her fellow captives, not even herself. So that made confirming her story through missing person reports or criminal history checks etc virtually impossible.”

“Hmm I see.” Clarke nods. “So, Titus used this card at the gas station, and a hardware store, a few days prior to the discovery of the body. But hasn’t used it since.”

“And he won’t.” Lexa says plainly, not bothering to look up from what she’s doing. “They’ll burn any cards they were using before Saturday as a precaution. They know the attention a dead body will attract, they will be in deep hiding. They’re not going to slip up.”

“So, what’s our next move?” Clarke asks hesitantly.

“I’m not sure.” Lexa sighs. “I’d hoped we might have had a hit on one of the cars by now.”

“They might have ditched the cars. Like the credit cards, anything that could be traced back to them they’d burn.” Clarke suggests.

“Your probably right.” Lexa agrees.

“So, if we’re assuming they’ve left the county, what did they leave the county in?” Clarke thinks out loud. “Hire car? Would they buy new vehicles? If there hauling abducted children around with them, they’re not gonna be taking the bus.”

“Possibly.” Lexa sits up. “Let’s check that, any car rental or purchases, private or dealership, made in the county over that weekend. They would have moved fast and most likely paid in cash.”

“On it.” Clarke gets up and rushes out of the office.

________________________

At 11:30pm on Sunday night Lexa gets a call from the cops surveilling Sneaky Pete’s. The detective’s heart speeds up as she answers the call she’s been waiting on for almost a week.

“Detective Woods.” Lexa answers the phone.

“Detective woods. This is officer Miller.” The man on the other end of the line introduces himself.” A man has just arrived at sneaky Pete’s who matches the description you gave us. He’s alone.”

“Keep your eyes on the door.” Lexa instructs. “If he leaves before I get there, follow him, discreetly. He cannot know he’s being followed. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

“Would you like us to inform Detective Griffin?” The officer asks.

“No. I will let her know. Thank you.” Lexa hangs up and hastily throws on some clothes and grabs her gun and badge before heading out the door.

_______________________

When Lexa arrives at Sneaky Pete’s she pulls up by the police car on watch and rolls down her window to talk to the officers.

“He hasn’t come back out?” Lexa asks.

“No.”

“Which is his car?” 

“The beat up old wagon over there.” One of the officers points out.

“Okay, thank you officers.” Lexa says. “I can take it from here.”

“On your own?” One of them men asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Detective Griffin is on her way.” Lexa lies. “we won’t be approaching the suspect.”

“You’re the boss.” One of the officer says with a bit of attitude before rolling up the window and driving away.

 

Lexa parks her car and waits patiently for Roan. The detective pulls out her phone and notices a message from an unknown number.

Unknown: Your man’s here

Lexa is relieved to see the message, now she knows for sure that it’s Roan in there. The detective waits patiently for a little over 2 hours before Roan appears, exiting the bar. Lexa watches as he gets in his car and drives off. Lexa follows the man at a safe distance. They drive for about 20 minutes before Roan pulls up at a house at the end of a pretty quiet street. It’s not the nicest part of town. The houses are run down with old cars and junk in the front yards.

Lexa watches Roan walk into the house, she sits in her car and watches from the street as the lights go on and off in the different rooms of the house, until all the lights are out, and she can just see a blue glow in the front window, presumably from a tv.

Lexa gets out of her car and sneaks up to the house, she peaks into the window and see’s Roan in an arm chair infront of the TV. It looks like he’s already passed out. The detective sneaks around the back of the house and gently tries to open one of the windows. It’s unlocked, the brunette opens it ever so slowly, sure not to make a sound. With the stealth of a cat the detective climbs in the window.

Lexa’s focusses on controlling her breathing to try and keep her heart rate steady. she deducts that she’s entered the house though a bedroom window, the door is slightly open, and she can see the light from the tv. She pulls her gun out from its holster before she slides out into the living room. She finds herself standing right behind Roan, who is now gently snoring in his chair.

Lexa walks up right behind Roan and pushes the gun against the back of his head. She notices the man shift, woken by the contact of the cold metal against his skull.

“Don’t move a muscle.” Lexa says sternly. “Slowly put your hands behind your head.”

Roan doesn’t say a word. He lifts his hands and joins them behind his head. Lexa uses her free hand to grab her handcuffs, keeping the barrel of the gun firmly against Rowan’s head while she cuffs the man’s hands. 

“Look.” Roan finally speaks when he feels the gun taken away from his head. “You’re making a big mistake.”

Lexa walks around and sits on the coffee table infront of the man. Roan’s brow furrows as his mind kicks into overdrive trying to recognize his captor.

“Hello Roan.” Lexa greets the man with a familiarity that it takes a moment for Roan to comprehend. 

Roan swallows the lump in his throat and pushes out the only response he can manage.

“Commander?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse into Lexa and Roan's history, things come to a head between Clarke and Lexa.

_16 years ago_  
_Underground Ice nation training facility, Quebec, Canada._

_“Hey commander.” Roan greets Lexa as he enters her room, or perhaps it would be better described as a cell. It has four bare concrete walls, no windows and a single cot, barley big enough for the girl who sits upon it._

_“I’ve told you not to call me that.” Lexa glares up at Roan._

_“Get used to it kid.” Roan says dryly as he leans up against the wall opposite Lexa’s bed. “Everyone knows this shit show is a one-horse race.” Roan points his fingers like a gun at Lexa and pretends to fire. “And you’re that horse.”_

_Roan is only a few years Lexa’s senior, he has known her since his mother abducted her when she was a small child. It would be a stretch to say they were friends, but Roan respects Lexa, and has sympathy for her situation. The man was raised inside the Ice nation, He has always felt uncomfortable with what’s going on around him, but it’s all he’s ever known, he doesn’t know another way to live. And for Lexa he is the only person she can talk too, she does trust him in a way._  
_The young nightbleeders have minimal contact outside of their training, and even still Lexa has to be worried about their motives if other nightbleeders try to befriend her, they’ve all been turned into killers, and they all know there is only one way out of this alive._

_“That’s not true.” Lexa lets out in barely a whisper._

_Roan barks out a laugh. “Who are you kidding commander?”_

_Lexa glares up at the man again. “I don’t want to be the horse! I don’t want to be in the race! I just want to get out of here.” Lexa shifts to the edge of her bed and places her feet on the ground. “And you’re wrong, Luna nearly beat me the last time we trained together. This is not a one-horse race. Nothing is certain.”_

_“Yeh, that’s why I’m here.” Roan informs the girls. “Mum saw your fight with Luna, she’s worried you’re losing your edge, she wants me to train with you more. You know, even she’s backing you in this thing.”_

_“I don’t need to train more.” Lexa puts her elbows on her knees, so she can cradle her head in her hands. “I just don’t want to fight anymore.”_

_“What’s up with you comm.” Roan stops to correct himself when Lexa throws him another threatening glare. “Lexa.” He puts his hands up in surrender and rolls his eyes before continuing. “I haven’t heard you talk like this in years. I thought you’d come to terms with this. You have to fight, you have to win. There is no other way around it.”_

_Lexa had spent the first year or so at the Ice nation trying to escape, refusing to fight, trying to convince others not to fight each other. But Nia met everyone of Lexa’s efforts with cruel consequences. When hurting Lexa herself stopped acting as a deterrent to her behaviour, the Woman resorted to hurting and sometimes even killing other nightbleeders to get Lexa to fall in line._

_“The conclave is so close.” Roan continues. “Don’t go soft now.”_

_“I don’t want to kill anyone.” Lexa says, she sounds so small in this moment. Roan is taken a back, she normally always has up such a strong front. The man is not used to seeing her look and sound so vulnerable._

_“Has this got something to do with the new girl?” Roan asks, watching the girls face closely for a reaction. “The nightbleeder we brought in last month? What’s her name?”_

_Lexa does her best to school her face not to show any emotion as she looks up at Roan. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”_

_“Costia! That’s it” Roan spouts. “I’ve seen the way you stare at her with those big moon eyes. this isn’t the place to have a crush, kid.”_

_Lexa moves to put on her shoes, ignoring Roan’s comment. The girl stands up and straightens her back. “Aren’t we supposed to be training?”_

_“We are.” Roan says looking her straight in the eyes. “Keep your head in the game commander. That girl isn’t worth dying for.”_

_Lexa does nothing to advert eye contact with the man, she stares straight back at him, her face stoic. “I have no intention of dying Roan.”_

_“Good.” Roan says as he begins to move, heading toward the door. “Then let’s go.”_

 

_\----------------------------------_

 

Present day.  
Arcadia: Roans home.

“Commander?” Roan’s tone is one of disbelief as he’s sits with his mouth agape staring at the girl infront of him.

“Roan.” Lexa greets him casually.

“How?..” Roan looks like he wants to say more, but no words come out of his mouth.

“Your mother is trying again isn’t she?” Lexa says, ignoring Roans obvious shock.

Roan takes a minute to pull himself together before finally answering.

“You know I can’t tell you anything.” The man finally speaks.

“You will.” Lexa responds, her voice low and threatening.

“Lexa” Roan starts.

“Roan.” Lexa interrupts. “I’m not playing games here. You know me, you know what I am cable of, I am telling you now that I am going to find your mother and Ice nation and I am going to stop them.” Lexa leans in closer to the man. “You are the only lead I have Roan. If you think there is any way you get out of this without telling me what I need to know you are wrong.”

“You don’t know what they’d do to me.” Roan pleads.

“Ha!” Lexa barks. “Is that a joke? I know exactly what they’d do to you. And I know that I can hurt you worse than they can.” Lexa pulls a knife from her waist band and pushes the razor-sharp tip against Roans abdomen, just enough to break the skin. “And I will. I will kill you in the slowest most painful way you could imagine Roan. If you don’t tell me everything I need to know.” Lexa pulls the knife away just as a light trickle of blood starts to drip down the steel blade.

“Do you think I’m lying?” Lexa asks seriously.

“No.” Roan replies.

“I’m going to need everything, names, locations.” Lexa is interrupted when her phone starts ringing in her pocket.

“Fuck.” The brunette breathes as she looks down and see’s Clarkes name on her screen.

Lexa’s mind starts racing a million miles an hour trying to figure out how she can handle this. Roan is going to give her a lot of information, she won’t be able to hide it from Clarke, it’s going to drive the rest of their investigation. But Roan knows too much, he knows things that Clarke can’t know.

“Fuck.” Lexa breathes one last time before answering her phone.

“Clarke?”

“Lexa! Where are you?” Clarke practically shouts. “I just got a call from officer miller, he said they spotted Roan and you met them at the bar and relieved them over 2 hours ago! What the hell is going on?!”

“Clarke, calm down. I did respond to Millers call, I relieved them at the bar. I didn’t want to bother you so late if it was the wrong guy.”

“Was it!” Clarke barks.

“No.” Lexa hesitates. “It was Roan. I followed him home.”

“What?!” Clarke shouts. “Are you out if your mind? Where are you now?”

“I have Roan contained.” Lexa answers.

“Give me the address!” Clarke demands. “I am coming over there right now, with back up.”

 

Lexa gives Clarke the address and hangs up. It’s when the brunette tucks her phone back into her pocket that Roan notices her detectives badge on her belt.

“You’re a cop!” The man shrieks. “Are you kidding me?!”

“I am.” Lexa replies coolly. “Now, my partner is on her way. We have at least 40 minutes. You have two options Roan. You agree to tell me everything I need to know right now, when the police come you will be arrested and questioned and you will tell them everything you know. Option 2 is that you refuse to talk. I’ll take you away from here before the police arrive and torture you until you tell me everything.

“Is there an option number 3?” Roan asks

“No.” Lexa bites. “And you better make your choice soon or we’ll just skip straight to number 2.”

“Okay.” Roan sighs. “I’ll talk.”

“I’m going to need you to tweak parts of your story for the police.” Lexa tells the man.

“You want me to lie for you?” The man asks in disbelief. “Do they not know who you are!?”

“I want you to tell the truth about the Ice nation, about everything, just leave me out of your story.”

“Why the hell would I do anything for you?” Roan asks. “You’re about to throw me in prison!”

“Like the prison your mother had me in!” Lexa says through gritted teeth. “There is no getting out of this Roan. You will be taken in, but you’ll have a defence, you were a victim of the ice nation too, and if you help to bring them down it will look good for you. I will help you. If you help me.”

Roan goes silent for a moment, contemplating his options. It doesn’t take him too long to come to a decision.

“Okay.” The man groans.

“We need to go over your statement.” Lexa informs the man. “But first, I need to know something.”

Roan looks up at Lexa and see’s fear in her eyes for the first time since their reunion.

“Of the abducted children.” Lexa begins. “Is there a boy? He’d be 13 years old, named Aden?”

“Yeh, Little red head kid.” Roan replies. “My mum has her favourite, this little bitch Ontari. But I reckon Aden’s in with a shot.” Roan stops and looks thoughtful for a moment. “You know it’s funny you bring him up, cause every time I train with him I’m remined of you. He fights just like you.”

“He’s okay then?” Lexa tries not to let herself fall apart infront of Roan, her emotions are bubbling at the surface, but the detective does her best to keep her face stoic.

“As far as I know.” Roan replies.

“When was the last time you saw him?” Lexa demands.

“Like 2 weeks ago.” Roan answers. “He was fine then. But I know one of the kids was killed last weekend. I don’t know who. I got a cryptic message from Titus and I haven’t heard anything since, they’ve all fled.”

Lexa stands up and walks around Roan, so he can’t see how his information has affected her, she knows that Aden wasn’t the one killed last weekend, so she now has hope that he is still alive. The brunette wipes away a tear the runs down her cheek before heading back to sit infront of the man.

“We’re going to ask you for the names of all the children your mother has taken.” Lexa informs Roan. “You will leave Aden off that list.”

“Why?” Roan replies with a look of confusion.

“You don’t need to know why. We don’t have much time, you just need to listen to me and do exactly as I say.”

They talk for a while longer before Lexa see’s Clarke’s car pull up on the street along with a few other police cars with their lights flashing. The police come in and Lexa asks them to take Roan to the station.

The brunette watches Clarke enter the house after the officers walk Roan out.

“Clarke.” Lexa starts, but is quickly interrupted by an irate Clarke.

“No.” Clarke growls as she begins pacing through the living room. “There is nothing you can say. You didn’t just risk your life tonight Lexa, you risked the lives of every one of the kids that we’re trying to save! That man is our only lead right now and you came here on your own, no back up, no one knowing where you were going!”

Clarke stops pacing and looks Lexa dead in the eyes before she begins walking toward her. “You think you’re above the law Lexa, but I see right through you. You’re a danger to this investigation and to everyone around you.” Lexa begins stepping back as Clarke steps towards her, stopping only when the back of her legs hit the couch. Clarke doesn’t stop until her face is only inches from Lexa’s.  
“I know there’s more to this than you’re telling me, you shouldn’t be working this case. I’m going to talk to my captain about having you removed, and believe me, I have grounds to do so, you’ll be lucky if you’re not suspended”

Lexa grits her teeth, she can feel her blood boiling, She feels like an animal stuck in a cage, Clarke has her backed into a corner, she knows the blonde is right, she knows she has grounds to have her removed from the case. Clarke hasn’t backed off an inch, they’re so close their breath is mingling, Clarke can feel the air Lexa is puffing out of her nostrils, Lexa’s eyes are dark, it’s a look that chills Clarke, but the blonde doesn’t let it show, she stands strong.

Lexa has to move, She feels like her skin is burning under the heat of Clarke’s stare, Lexa wouldn’t normally let anyone get this close to her, she can’t even remember the last time she had someone so close that she could feel their breath on her lips, Lexa’s eyes flick down to Clarke’s lips, only for a split second, she’s not sure why, the brunette’s emotions are on a knife’s edge at the moment. Lexa push’s past the girl and walks to the front door, stepping out into the cold night air, the brunette takes a deep breath and tries to calm her racing heart.

After a moment Lexa turns and steps back into the house. Clarke is standing where she left her, just watching her.

“Clarke.” Lexa says so softly the blonde can only just hear it. Clarke takes a few steps forward before Lexa continues.

“I need to be on this case.” Lexa starts. “I can’t explain why.” Lexa looks up apologetically when she hears Clarke let out a frustrated sigh. “I know I’ve been wrong. I promise things will change. With all the information Roan is going to give us, I will work this with you properly. I won’t go off on my own. I will work with you.”

Clarke lets out a shaky breath, there is something so desperate in Lexa’s eyes. Clarke knows Lexa has lied to her every step of the way so far on this case, but for some reason she can’t help but believe her now.

“You have one chance Lexa.” Clarke says sternly as she steps closer to the girl. “If you pull anything like this again.”

“I won’t.” Lexa interrupts before Clarke can finish.

Clarke meets Lexa’s gaze and they’re eyes bore into one another, Clarke takes another deep breath. The intensity of Lexa’s deep green eyes is breathtaking, almost overwhelming. Clarke shakes her head a little to get herself out of the moment she’s sharing with the brunette.

“We should get to the station.” Clarke finally says as she walks out the door towards her car.

“I’ll be right behind you.” Lexa replies, making Clarke stop and look back at her questioningly. “I just need to make a call.”

“Okay.” Clarke responds eyeing Lexa suspiciously before turning around to go to her car.

 

\--------------------------------------

 

“Lexa!” Anya sits straight up in her bed as she answers a call from her sister. “It’s 3am! What’s wrong.”

“Everything’s fine.” Lexa replies quickly. “We got Roan.”

“What!” Anya exclaims. “You saw him? Have you spoken to him?”

“Yes.” Lexa pauses for a second. “Anya. He confirmed that they have Aden.” Lexa continues when Anya doesn’t say anything. “As far as he knows Aden is alive. He was here in Arcadia. Roan saw him a couple days before the girls body was found.”

Lexa stops talking so Anya can say something, but all Lexa can hear is Anya’s muffled sobbing on the other end of the line.

“He’s alive Anya. I promise you I will find him and bring him home.” Lexa tells her sister as she does her best to hold back her own sobs.

“Was he there when that girl was killed? Do you think he saw it happen? Do you think he did it?” Anya cries.

Lexa can’t stop the tears streaming down her face now as she hears the pain in Anya’s voice.

“I don’t know An. Roan said he is doing very well.” Lexa speaks hesitantly, feeling unsure if it’s the right thing to say. “Whatever he’s gone through, we’ll get him home and help him get through it.” Lexa says with more confidence.

“Is Roan in police custody?” Anya suddenly asks with a hint of urgency in her voice.

“Yes.” Lexa replies.

“If he tells them about Aden you’ll be taken off the case! If he tells them about you!” Anya says frantically.

“It’s okay Anya.” Lexa re assures her sister. “I got to him first. I told him to leave me and Aden out of his statement. He said he would”

“You believe him?” Anya asks cynically.

“I do.” Lexa replies. “Roan isn’t all bad. I know he feels guilt for what he’s helped his mother do. I believe he will try to protect me. He has before.”

There’s a moment of silence before Lexa speaks again.

“I was thinking that I might need to tell Clarke about Aden.” Lexa starts.

“You know you can’t do that Lexa.” Anya interrupts.

“It’s going to be very hard to keep it from her and if she catches me sneaking around behind her back again I think she will have me taken of the case.” Lexa argues.

“And what if she reports you right away?” Anya questions. “you’re not allowed to work any cases involving Aden, not after the shit you did after he went missing. You wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near this case.”

“I think maybe I could trust her not to tell anyone.” Lexa says quietly.

“Since when do you trust anyone?” Anya asks rhetorically. “Look even if she did keep it to herself, it wouldn’t end well for her. You and I are both willing to lose our careers over this. When you find Aden and they find out that Clarke didn’t report that she knew you were looking for him, she could end up in some pretty hot water herself. It’s best just to leave her out of this Lex.”

“I know, you’re right.” Lexa sighs as she rubs the back of her neck. “I better go, make sure Roan is sticking to script.”

“Please keep me updated.” Anya requests.

“Of course.” Lexa replies. “I love you.”

“Love you too kid.” Anya replies before ending the call.

 

\------------------------------------------

 

“Has he said much?” Lexa asks as she walks up and stands behind Clarke who is watching Roan through the one way glass as he sits handcuffed to the table.”

“We just got him set up in there, I was just about to head in to start questioning him.” Clarke replies.

“Great. I’ll join you.”

Lexa follows Clarke into the interrogation room and the two girls take a seat across from the man. Roan seems to be playing along so far, making sure not to show any familiarity with the dark-haired detective.

Roan sings like a bird, Clarke and Lexa asks him questions pertinent to their current investigation first, getting the names of the children taken, locations that the ice nation have used or might use, there’s so much information coming out of the man’s mouth the detectives almost don’t know where to start.

Once they finish interrogating him, Clarke drops a pen and paper down infront of him.

“I want a detailed account of everything, from the first conclave till now.” Clarke instructs. “Your cooperation is noted, If the information you provide helps our investigation, it will be better for you.”

With that Clarke picks up the tape recorder and notes she had been taking down and walks out of the room.

Roan and Lexa both watch her leave. Roan grins when he notices Lexa’s gaze lingering on her partner as she walks out.

“Your partner is hot.” Roan smirks at Lexa.

“Quiet Roan.” Lexa snaps.

Lexa looks at Roan for a moment. “Thank you.” She says sincerely.

Roan nods his head in understanding.

“It’s actually a relief. I can’t believe it’s over.” The man laughs a little. “I’m about to be thrown in prison and I feel freer than I ever have.

“I better go.” Lexa says with a gentle smile.

“Wait.” Roan stops the girl as she’s getting up to leave. “I’m curious about one thing.”

Lexa raises her eyebrow at the man.

“After you escaped, why did you tell the cops your name was Luna?” Roan asks

“I don’t know.” Lexa says quietly. “I was scared. I didn’t trust anyone. I didn’t want anyone to know who I was. I didn’t want them to find my parents.”

“So you gave them the name of the last person you killed?”

“Luna wasn’t the last person I killed.” Lexa replies, her voice cold distant.

Roan looks at the girl, immediately understanding what she’s talking about. “You didn’t kill Costia.”

“I might as well have.” Lexa says flatly.

“Lexa.” Roan starts.

“I have to go.” Lexa interrupts before he can continue.

Lexa stands from the table and leaves the room without looking back at Roan.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Clarke notices Lexa walk out of the interrogation room from the corner of her eye.

“It will be interesting to see how his statement matches up with Luna’s.” Clarke thinks out loud.

When Lexa doesn’t respond, Clarke looks over at the girl.

“Hey.” Clarke nudges Lexa when she notices her standing just outside the interrogation room with a distant look in her eyes. “You okay?”

“Yeh.” Lexa shakes her head. “Sorry, I zoned out.”

“You should go home and get some rest.” Clarke suggests. “We have a lot of information to go through here, I’ll get started now, hopefully we’ll have something to go on when you get back.”

“Clarke.” Lexa starts.

“Don’t argue Lexa.” Clarke stops the girl. “I had a solid 5 hours sleep last night. I’m guessing you had nothing?”

“Yeh, but.” Lexa tries.

“No buts.” Clarke interrupts again. “Go home. Don’t come back until you’ve had at least 4 hours sleep.”

Lexa knows she’s not going to win this argument, and she really doesn’t want to do anything to piss her partner off right now.

“Okay.” Lexa concedes.

Clarke gives the brunette a small smile. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.” Lexa says quietly back.

“For what?” Clarke asks.

“For not having me thrown off the case.” Lexa replies. “I meant what I said Clarke. I don’t want to hide anything from you. I’m going to try to be better.”

“I hope that’s true.” Clarke says catching Lexa’s eyes. “I’m on your side Lexa. I hope you can see that.”

Lexa nods and forces a small smile for the blonde. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“You will.” Clarke smiles back before turning and walking down the corridor.

Lexa watches the blonde leave. She notices her heart rate increase a little as she thinks about her partner and the fact that she’s promised her she isn’t going hide anything from her anymore when everything the blonde knows about her is lie. Lexa feels sick with guilt. She thinks back to earlier in the night, when Clarke was so close she could smell her hair and feel her breath on her lips, her heart jumps again.

“Fuck.” Lexa mumbles to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is all making sense guys lol. As always I'm very appreciative of feedback. it's always good to know what people are thinking about the story : )


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Lexa and Anya's history is revealed as Clarke and Lexa begin working with the information they retrieve from Roan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one jumps between different times a bit. hope it's not too hard to follow.

_12 Years earlier. Montreal, Canada. Anya’s Residence._

_Lexa stands in the door way of a nice suburban home, on a nice suburban street and almost feels less comfortable here, than she did in any of her time with Ice nation._

_“It’s okay Luna.” Anya stands in the door way trying to encourage the frightened young girl before her to enter the house._

_“I just.” Lexa starts. “I mean, I don’t really understand why I’m here.”_

_“I told you.” Anya replies. “I spoke to child services and they agreed to let you stay with me until they figure out your situation, rather than sending you to a group home.”_  
_Anya looks at the weary girl before her. “Unless you would prefer the group home?” Anya asks seriously. “I just thought, you staying here with me, might be good for you. But it’s your decision. If you don’t want to stay here just Say the word. I won’t be offended.”_

_Lexa pokes her head in the door and glances around. It’s a nice home, the place is tidy, the furniture is in good condition, the place even smells nice. Lexa doesn’t remember ever seeing the inside of a place like this, even before Ice nation took her._

_“Um, Okay.” Lexa murmurs. “I’d like to stay here. If you don’t mind?” Lexa asks shyly._

_“Of course I don’t mind.” Anya smiles. “I offered.”_

_Lexa takes her first steps inside the house, with every step she takes she feels a little bit of tension leave her body. The house is cosy. It feels warm and Anya’s re assuring smile every time Lexa looks her way is actually comforting._

_An unfamiliar woman appears in the living room from down the hallway, Anya greets her warmly, the two talk quietly between themselves before the woman says goodbye to Anya, throwing a quick, uncertain smile toward Lexa before heading to the front door and exiting the house._

_“Take a seat.” Anya tells Lexa, motioning toward the lounge. “Would you like a drink or something to eat?”_

_“Oh, no.” Lexa says quickly. “I don’t want you to go to any trouble.”_

_Lexa isn’t used to having someone wait on her. In the Ice nation, the nightbleeders were expected to be self-sufficient. Food was available to them, but no one ever brought it to them or offered them anything._

_“It’s no trouble Luna.” Anya smiles and Lexa feels a surge of guilt twist up in her stomach. She didn’t intend to lie about who she was, it just happened. When Anya asked her what her name was she froze, she didn’t want to be back in the world… well she did, just not back in her old life. The only memories she had of life before the Ice nation were of her parents being neglectful and abusive, she didn’t survive 6 years in that hell hole just to go back there. Luna was a street kid, the ice nation picked her up off the street, she had no parents. Lexa knew that much about her. That’s why she chose to use her identity._

_Lexa is brought out of her thoughts by a strange noise coming from somewhere in the house, an unusual whining sound._

_“Oh, that’s Aden.” Anya smiles when she notices that the young girl on her couch has become tense and alert._

_Lexa watches Anya rush down the hallway, when she returns she’s holding a baby in her arms. Lexa is gobsmacked. She’s can’t really remember ever seeing a baby before._

_“This is my son. Aden.” Anya tells the girl._

_Anya walks up closer to Lexa so she can see. Lexa can’t hide her curiosity. She leans over to see the baby better. He has big blue eyes and a little tuft of red hair, his eyes find hers and they stare at each other for a good moment._

_“You want to hold him?” Anya asks._

_“Um, I don’t know.” Lexa replies. “I don’t know how.”_

_“It’s easy.” Anya says as she motions for Lexa to sit back down before placing Aden in her arms. “You just support his head with that arm.” Anya instructs. “And put your other arm like this.” Anya moves Lexa’s arm into position before stepping away. “See?” Anya smiles. “Nothing to it.”_

_Lexa looks down at the baby in her arms. He’s staring back at her intently._

_“How old is he?” Lexa asks._

_“8 months.” Anya smiles._

_‘8 months.’ Lexa thinks to herself. She doesn’t really have a great concept of time, that’s the result of being held captive for 6 years with no idea how long you’ve been there, what the time is, what day it is, or month or year._

_“8 months.” Lexa mouths to herself. ‘It mustn’t be a long time.’ she thinks. ‘He’s so small.’_

_“I think he likes you.” Anya remarks._

_Lexa looks down and the little boy is smiling up at her. Lexa can’t help it, a smile takes over her face in response, Lexa can count on her fingers how many times she remembers really smiling. It’s not a frequent occurrence, but this little boy, looking up at her and chuckling. It’s making her heart flutter._

_“You know.” Anya starts. “You guys have something in common.”_

_Lexa pulls her eyes from the child to look at Anya. “We do?” She asks._

_“Aden has black blood.” Anya states._

_“He does?” Lexa asks with a frown._

_“Yep.” Anya confirms._

_“He looks.” Lexa pauses for a moment “He looks happy. Like no one’s ever tried to hurt him.”_

_Anya’s heart breaks as she looks at the girl on her lounge. She’s nearly 16 years old, in many ways she’s mature beyond her years, but in many ways she’s so small and fragile and in need of someone to take care of her._

_“No one has.” Anya says. “And I hope no one ever will.”_

_“I hope so too.” Lexa says quietly, her eyes fixed on Aden._

_My name isn’t Luna.” Lexa just says out of blue, almost shocking herself._

_“What!?” Anya blurts out._

_“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lie to you.” Lexa starts. “Everything else I told you is true. I just didn’t want anyone to know I was here. I didn’t want you to find my parents. Luna died in the conclave. She was a street kid, she didn’t have any parents, that’s why I used her name.”_

_Anya is quiet for a moment while she processes the information._

_“What is your name?” She eventually asks._

_“Lexa.” The girl replies._

_“Lexa.” Anya says. “I need to notify your parents.”_

_“Detective woods.” Lexa replies. “Please. You can’t. they were not good parents, the were drug addicts, they beat me, they neglected me. I don’t want to go back to them. I don’t want them to know I’m alive.”_

_“Lexa.” Anya pinches the bridge of her nose and lets out a sigh._

_“I’d rather go to a group home.” Lexa says._

_“Lexa” Anya repeats. “I’m going to have to think about this okay.”_

_“Okay.” Lexa says quietly as she looks back down at Aden. “I’m sorry I lied.”_

_“It’s okay Lexa.” Anya kneels down before the girl. “We’re going to figure this all out. The important thing is that you’re safe now. Okay?”_

_“Ice nation are still out there, probably looking for me.” Lexa says. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be safe.”_

_“I’ll do everything I can Lexa.” Anya places a hand on Lexa’s shoulder, she feels the girl stiffen a little at the contact, but after a moment she relaxes. “I will do everything I can to make sure they never find you.”_

––––––––––––––––––––

Present day: Arcadia Police department  
It’s 2:30pm when Lexa walks into the precinct later that afternoon after being sent home by Clarke with strict instructions to rest, the detective makes her way straight to the room that Clarke had set up for them to work the case, she finds Clarke in there hovering over a bunch of papers spread out all over the desk infront of her.  
The blonde is concentrating so hard on what’s in front of her that she doesn’t even notice her partner enter the room. Lexa stands back and watches her for a moment. Clarke is shuffling papers around, numbering them before walking over to a cork board where she places little flags with corresponding numbers on a map, Lexa notices the different little habits the blonde has as she works, the way she chews the tip of her pen when she’s concentrating hard on something, the way she rubs the tip of her fingers together when she’s getting closer to piecing something together, the way she huffs and rubs her hands through her hair when she’s getting frustrated.  
Lexa watches her curiously for a few more minutes before deciding to make her presence known. The brunette walks up behind Clarke and lightly taps her on the shoulder. It makes the blonde jump as she turns around to face her partner.

“Lexa.” Clarke almost shrieks.

“Sorry.” Lexa smiles. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, Sorry.” Clarke laughs. “I was in my own world. Did you get some rest?”

“I did. Thankyou.” Lexa replies.

Lexa stiffens a little when Clarke looks at her closely.

“You still look tired.” Clarke says as she examines Lexa’s face. Only realizing how she must sound when she notices Lexa raise an eyebrow. “God.. Sorry” Clarke stutters. “You don’t look bad, you look good. You always look good.” Clarke’s face flushes pink as she feels herself getting flustered. “I just mean...”

“It’s okay Clarke.” Lexa lets the tinniest smirk form in the corner of her mouth. “I slept, but it was restless. It’s difficult to get my mind off the case.”

Clarke nods, she understands too well. She hasn’t had a peaceful night’s sleep since seeing that young girl dead on the factory floor, and since meeting Lexa and learning about the ice nation, sleep has become even more elusive for the blonde, there are so many questions, She may not be as intense as Lexa about the whole thing, but the blonde hasn’t been able to get her mind off the case for a second either.

“What have we been able to get from Roan’s statement.” Lexa asks, bringing Clarke out of her thoughts

“A lot.” The blonde smiles. “I’m marking out all the addresses he’s given us, places the Ice nation have used before, places he believes they may use as safe havens. I guess I’m plotting out a little road trip for us.”

Lexa walks up to the board. “There are quite a few places here Clarke.”

“Yeh.” Clarke rubs a hand through her hair. “That’s why I was thinking we should get onto it right away.”

“Yes, off course.” Lexa agrees. “Well I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Great.” Clarke exclaims. “I’ve already run it all by Pike, so we can head off whenever we want. Why don’t you go back to your hotel and pack your bag and I’ll pick you up from there?”

“Sounds good.” Lexa replies. “I’ll see you soon then.”

 

\------------------------------------

 

The first stop on their trip is in Maine, about a 3-hour journey. Clarke has offered to drive, considering Lexa’s lack of sleep. A wise decision Clarke realizes, when half an hour into the trip Lexa has nodded off, her head slumped awkwardly against the window. Clarke can’t help but glance at her sleeping partner every so often. She’s not out for long before she starts muttering and jerking in her sleep.

Clarke tries to focus on the road and not the girl next to her, but it’s becoming more difficult as she begins talking and moving more and more, it’s clear that the girl is having a nightmare, she seems distressed. Clarke can’t make out anything that Lexa is saying, it’s all incoherent mumbles and whimpers.

It’s when Clarke hears the words “No” and “Stop” clearly come out of the girl’s mouth, that she feels like she should wake her.  
“Lexa.” Clarke says out loud, but the brunette doesn’t respond, so Clarke reaches over and places her hand on Lexa’s knee before giving it a soft squeeze. With lightning speed Lexa’s hand shoots over and grabs Clarke’s hand from her knee and squeezes it hard causing the blonde to squeal.

“Lexa!” Clarke cries.

Lexa’s eyes fly open and dart around the car, taking in her surroundings, She looks at Clarke who’s eyes are flicking between the road and Lexa, her expression one of shock and pain.

“Clarke, what’s wrong?” Lexa quickly asks.

“My hand.” Clarke blurts, directing her eyes down to where Lexa has her hand in a vice grip.

“Oh my god.” Lexa gasps as she lets go of Clarke’s hand. “Clarke, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“No, My fault.” Clarke says as she shakes her now free hand. “I’m pretty sure there’s some ancient proverb about poking a sleeping bear.”

“Was I snoring?” Lexa asks.

“No, you seemed to be having a nightmare.” Clarke replies. “seemed like the kind you’d want to be woken from. Sorry.” Clarke shrugs.

“Don’t be sorry.” Lexa replies. “Thankyou.”

“Do you have nightmares often?” Clarke asks curiously.

“Um, I don’t know.” Lexa Replies sheepishly. “Anya use to wake me up a lot when I was younger, she’d say I was having bad dreams, but I don’t really remember them when I wake up.”

“I wish I could forget my nightmares when I wake up.” Clarke says casually. “Mine are always so vivid, and I remember everything when I wake up, sometimes I’m too scared to go back to sleep.” Clarke laughs humourlessly.

“What do you dream about?” Lexa asks curiously.

“Things I’ve seen on the job mostly.” Clarke replies, clearly not wanting to go into more detail.

Lexa watches as Clarke’s blue eyes go distant as she focuses back on the road, it’s a look she knows well, she sees it in the mirror a lot. The brunette can’t help but wonder about the blonde, what dark things she has in her past that creep into her dreams. Lexa doesn’t really hide her broodiness well. She is who she is, and she’s done well enough to integrate into society considering her past. She has a good job, she has people that she loves and would do anything for. But just everyday life, talking to people, connecting, entwining, engaging. These are all tings Lexa has always struggled with, and here she looks at Clarke, who seems like the exact opposite, who seems like someone who doesn’t just fit in everywhere, but lights up anywhere she goes, makes anywhere a better place to be. And right now, the blonde is staring through the windscreen with a look that contradicts everything that Lexa thinks she knows about the girl. A look that speaks of pain and sorrow and loss, and Lexa can’t help but feel desperate to know why.

 

“Where are we?” Lexa asks. “I was hoping we could make a little detour Via Polis so I could grab more clothes. I really only packed enough to spend a couple of nights in Arcadia, I’ve had to do washing almost every day since I got there.”

“No problem.” Clarke replies. “We haven’t gone past the exit yet.”

The girls spend the rest of the trip to Polis going over the case, when they finally arrive at Lexa’s place, Clarke pulls up on the street and leans back in her seat. Not really sure what she’s supposed to do.

“You can come in if you want.” Lexa offers. “Or wait out here. I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“Okay.” Clarke replies. “I might get out and stretch my legs.”

“Okay.” Lexa replies before getting up and walking into her apartment, leaving the door open in case Clarke intended to come in.

Clarke wonders around the front yard for a bit, before heading over towards the house. She approaches the door and pops her head inside. From where she stands she can see the foyer, the living room and the beginning of a hallway, The blonde walks further into the house, the first thing she notices is how cold and bare it is, there’s nothing on the walls, there’s a couch in the living room, but no sign of a TV, she wanders around until she finds herself in the kitchen, it’s just as bare as the rest of the house, no photos, no magnets on the fridge, no mess on the bench. Just a small table and a single chair.

“How long have you lived here?” Clarke calls out to Lexa as she continues to walk around.

“Just over a year.” Lexa calls back before she appears from the hallway with a bag in her hand.

“You’ve really made it your own.” Clarke grins at the girl.

“I’m a minimalist.” Lexa says seriously.

“I can see that.” Clarke says as something on the bench in front of her grabs her attention. It’s a framed photo, the only one in the house as far as she could see. In it, Lexa is on the left of young boy and to his right is another woman who looks a little older than Lexa, Lexa is leaning into the boy, resting her elbow on the top of his head, she has a huge cheeky grin on her face and the boy is clearly laughing.

“That’s Anya?” Clarke asks pointing to the girl in the photo with strong cheek bones and dark blonde hair.

“It is.” Lexa replies.

“And who’s the cutie?” Clarke asks.

“Oh, that’s me.” Lexa says straight faced. “I just had different hair back then.”

Lexa does her best to keep her face stoic as she notices Clarke’s eyes go wide and huge grin form on her lips.

“Detective sergeant Lexa Woods!” Clarke says dramatically. “Did you just make a joke?”

The corners of Lexa’s mouth turn up ever so slightly. “It does happen from time to time.” the brunette replies, but she’s not being completely honest, because that literally never happens with anyone except for Anya and Aden, she’s actually quite surprised at what just came out of her own mouth, but of course she doesn’t want Clarke to know that.

Lexa looks down at the photo that Clarke is holding. “He’s my nephew. Aden.”

“You look close.” Clarke remarks.

“We are.” Lexa replies. “Anyway.” Lexa takes the photo frame from Clarke and places it back on the bench. “I’m ready to go.”

 

Lexa insists on doing some driving once the girls are back in the car, after a bit of resistance Clarke relents and takes her position in the passenger seat.

After a few minutes of silence Clarke’s curiosity gets the better of her.

“So you’ve lived there for a year? Really?”

“Yes” Lexa replies. “Why is that so strange?”

“It just doesn’t look lived in.” Clarke responds. “Like at all.”

“Well I suppose I never really made an effort to make it a home, and I haven’t really spent much time there.” Lexa starts. “I had always Lived with Anya and Aden, when Aden’s father re appeared a little over a year ago, it looked like he and Anya were thinking about trying to work things out, so I decided to move out to give them some space.”

“So why haven’t you been spending time at your place then?” Clarke prods, knowing she may be getting too personal, but the blonde can’t help it. she feels desperate to know more about her new partner.

“Things didn’t work out with Anya’s ex, he didn’t stick around that long, after he left I started spending more time at Anya’s again, I guess I practically moved back in, I just didn’t get rid of my new place.”

Lexa keeps her eyes on the road infront of her, Clarke can tell Lexa’s getting a little uncomfortable with the subject, so the blonde decided to drop it.

Lexa focuses on the road infront of her, but she can’t help her mind from wondering back to that time, when Aden’s father walked out on his family for the second time.

 

_Anya’s Residence, Polis. USA. 1 year ago._

_“Lexa!” Anya cries as she storms through her front door, she tears through the house looking for her little sister._

_“What?!” Lexa replies stony faced when Anya finds her in the kitchen._

_“Are completely out of your mind?” Anya asks seriously._

_“Are you actually angry with me!?” Lexa replies with a sharp edge to her tone._

_“You tortured Adam!” Anya cries. “You actually tortured Aden’s fathers!”_

_“He took him Anya!” Lexa growls. “You think it’s just a coincidence that Aden disappeared a few days after he left?”_

_“Lexa! He left because he couldn’t handle being a father, Why would he take Aden?” Anya tries to reason._

_“I don’t know.” Lexa snaps. “But in cases like this, it’s always the estranged father. You know that.”_

_“You tortured him Lexa.” Anya says flatly. “Did he admit to anything?”_

_“Well, no” Lexa replies sheepishly._

_“Trust me.” Anya says. “If Adam had the information you wanted, he would have talked, he’s weak, you know that Lexa. And if that’s not enough for you, he has an alibi, he’s been living at his sisters since he left us.”_

_“Well where is he then?” Lexa cries, her voice cracking. “If he didn’t take Aden then who did?”_

_“I don’t know.” Anya sighs. “But you’re off the case.”_

_“What!” Lexa yells._

_“Adam went to the chief of police, He threatened going to the media to tell everyone what you did to him.” Anya rubs her forehead. “You’re suspended, effective immediately, your situation will be reviewed on Monday morning, but the chief made it very clear that you would not have any further involvement in any way on this case.”_

_“No!” Lexa shakes her head. “No, He can’t do that!”_

_“He can, and he has.” Anya replies. She’s quite for a moment before continuing “Lexa, we’re going to find Aden. Whatever it takes. But I need you to pull yourself together, we need to set our emotions aside and try to look at this objectively. Aden needs us, he needs us to keep our heads on straight and find him.”_

_Lexa nods, unable to look her sister in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”_

_Anya steps up to her sister. “Lexa, please. I need you. I can’t get through this without you okay.”_

_Lexa looks up and meets her sisters teary eyes and nods again. “I’m sorry. We’re going to find him An. I promise._ ”

_____________________

“Lexa?”

Lexa is brought out of her thoughts by Clarke’s voice carefully saying her name.

“Hmm. Yes sorry.” Lexa shakes her head a little before looking over at the blonde. “I was lost in my thoughts.”

“I noticed.” Clarke replies. “You sure you don’t want me to drive?”

Lexa looks at Clarke for a moment, the blonde has such genuine concern in her eyes that it makes Lexa’s heart ache a little. She knows that by the end of this Clarke will know she’s been lying to her, about Aden, about her involvement in the case. She knows by then end of it all the girl sitting next to her will probably hate her.

“No, I’m fine.” Lexa mumbles. “Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.”

“It’s okay.” Clarke replies. “Should I put on some music?”

“If you want.” Lexa responds. “I’m no bothered either way.”

Clarke grabs her phone and a cord out of her bag, she plugs the phone into the dash and starts scrolling through the device.

“What’s your scene?” Clarke asks.

“Sorry?” Lexa replies.

“Music?” Clarke clarifies. “What sort of stuff do you listen to?”

“Umm, I’m not sure.” Lexa replies. “I don’t really listen to music.”

“What do you mean?” Clarke asks.

“I mean I don’t really listen to music.” Lexa repeats.

“Do you have any CD’s or Spotify playlists or anything like that?” Clarke asks

“No.” Lexa replies feeling a little embarrassed. “My nephew is always trying to get me to listen to stuff, I just, I don’t know. It’s not really my thing.”

“Okay.” Clarke says, trying not to sound too horrified. “I’ll just play some of my stuff that I think you might like.”

“You don’t have to do that Clarke.” Lexa says. “Just put on whatever you want to listen too.”

“This is what I want to listen to.” Clarke smiles. “It’s all my music.”

“Okay.” Lexa nods, keeping her eyes on the road.

A few seconds later the music starts, and Clarke puts her phone down and reaches in front of her to grab some files from her bag, the blonde opens a folder in her lap and concentrates on the page in front of her.

Lexa listens to the music playing, curious as to what Clarke would have picked as music she thinks she might like.  
Lexa likes the sound of the music from the start, she’s not sure what genre this would fall into, but she figures it’s something like alternative rock, about 20 seconds into the song a choir of children joins the guitars and drums, it sounds beautiful, Then the lyrics begin.

_Somethin’ filled up_   
_My heart with nothin’_   
_Someone told me not to cry._

_Now that I’m older_   
_My hearts colder,_   
_And I can see that it’s a lie._

_Children wake up,_   
_Hold your mistake up_   
_Before they turn the summer into dust._

_If the children don’t grow up_  
 _Our bodies get bigger, but our hearts get torn up_  
 _We’re just a million little god’s_ _causing rain_ _storms_  
_Turnin’ every good thing to rust_  
 _I guess we’ll just have to adjust._

Lexa is so transported by the song that she doesn’t notice Clarke’s eyes move from her files onto her.

“You like it?” Clarke asks.

It takes Lexa a moment to respond, she shakes her head slightly, needing to get herself out of her own mind.

“Um, yes.” She eventually replies. “I like it very much. Who is it?”

“Arcade fire.” Clarke says as she picks up Lexa’s phone and swipes the lock screen.

“What are you doing?” Lexa asks, eyes wide at Clarke’s boldness.

“I’m making you a spotify playlist of their best songs.” Clarke says happily.

“Oh, Okay.” Lexa watches Clarke sideways, trying not to show how uncomfortable she is with Clarke on her phone.

“There.” Clarke smiles as she puts down Lexa’s phone. “Try to listen to it. If you like this song I recon you’ll love the rest of their stuff.”

“Thanks.” Lexa nods. “I will.”

As the song plays out Lexa’s mind drifts off again, back to the first time she remembers feeling hope, like she might get a chance to be a kid, to have a family and a future.

 

_12 years earlier: Anya’s residence. Montreal - Canada._

_“I’m home.” Anya calls out as she walks through the front door of her home after a long days work. The detective enters her living room to find Lexa laying on the floor next to her son, giggling along with him as she makes his stuffed unicorn fly over his head._

_“Hey.” Lexa replies, only giving half her attention to the older girl as she keeps a close eye on Aden. Lexa has been staying with Anya and Aden for two months now, The young girl was nervous at first about her new accommodations, but she has become very comfortable at the woods residence in the short time._

_“How was school today?” Anya asks as she walks into the living room and plops down on the ground next to her son._

_“Same as yesterday.” Lexa says glumly._

_“Is the work too hard?” Anya asks. “You don’t need to feel embarrassed if you need help Lexa. It would be understandable.”_

_“It’s not the work.” Lexa sighs. “I’m actually ahead of most the kids in my class. The Ice nation were pretty strict about our studies. I guess they didn’t want the leader of the new world to be a moron.” Lexa rolls her eyes._

_“What’s the problem then?” Anya asks, dipping her head, trying to catch Lexa’s eyes._

_“I just don’t know how to relate to the kids in my class.” Lexa says, rubbing the back of her neck self consciously. “They’re so different, they’re always laughing and talking about things I don’t understand. I just don’t know why I have to go. I’m nearly 16, soon I’ll be able to emancipate myself from child services. I can get out of your hair and go live my own life.”_

_“You wouldn’t stay in school?” Anya asks._

_“Why would I?” Lexa scoffs._

_“So you can get a job, have a future.” Anya replies._

_“I can do that without staying in school. I’m suffocating there. I feel like I’m going crazy when I’m sitting in that class room.”_

_“Lexa.” Anya sits up a little straighter and waves her hand to get Lexa’s attention, to make sure she’s really listeing to what she’s about to say._

_“How would you feel about staying with Aden and I?”_

_“What do you mean?” Lexa asks. “I thought we we’re just waiting for child services to place me somewhere else?”_

_“That was the original plan.” Anya replies. “But things can change. It’s been something I’ve been thinking about for a while.”_

_Anya had been thinking about it for a while, ever since she got in contact with Lexa’s birth parents and they told he that they weren’t interested in anything she had to say about Lexa. That’s when she decided to let Lexa’s story stick. As far as everyone else was concerned, Lexa was Luna, an orphaned street kid._  
_Anya wanted Lexa to become a part of her family, the brunette was already so close with her son, and she could tell that Lexa trusted her, that she felt comfortable with her, she didn’t want to take that away from the girl._

_“So what?” Lexa asks, interrupting Anya from her thoughts. “You’d adopt me?”_

_Anya nods._

_“You’d be like my mum?” Lexa says half rolling her eyes._

_“I was thinking more like big sister.” Anya laughs as she reaches over with her foot and nudges Lexa, causing the brunette to giggle._  
_“You’d be his aunt.” Anya nods down at the ridiculously happy baby rolling around on the floor. “You could help me keep him safe. Protect him from the world.”_

_Lexa looks down at Aden, their eyes meet and Lexa can’t help the tears that start escaping her eyes, she didn’t realize how badly she wanted this until right now._

_“I want that.” Lexa says so quietly that Anya barely hears it._

_“Good.” Anya smiles. “Because I already consider you family kid.”_

_Lexa can’t help the wide smile that takes over her face._

_“Have you ever been to America?” Anya asks, taking Lexa a little by surprise._

_“No.” Lexa replies. “I mean, not as far as I know. I moved around a bit with the Ice nation, I was never really sure where I was.”_

_“There might be an opportunity for me, there's a new station opening up in a town in Maine, called Polis. I’m looking into if I might be able to get a position there.” Anya informs the girl._

_“Why?” Lexa asks. “Why would you want to go there?”_

_“It would be a fresh start for us all. You’ll be Lexa woods, we’ll be in a new town where no one knows our story, you can become whoever you want to become, and the ice nation will never find you.”_

_“You can’t do all that just for me.” Lexa says in disbelief._

_“I would.” Anya says seriously. “But It’s not just for you. It would be a career advancement for me. And I’m not too crazy about living in the same vicinity as a cult that kidnaps kids with black blood.. when my son has black blood.”_

_“Understandable.” Lexa replies as she looks down at the boy. “Okay. I’m in.”_

_“Really?” Anya asks with a big smile._

_“Yeh.” Lexa nods. “I would be honoured to be a part of this family.” Lexa says genuinely, looking Anya in the eyes. “I’m gonna take care of him Anya.” Lexa nods at Aden._

_“I’m sure you will kid.” Anya smiles._

_“So on the topic of jobs and futures.” Anya starts, getting Lexa’s attention. “What do you think about law enforcement?”_

_“A cop!” Lexa laughs. “Me?”_

_“I think you’d be good at it.” Anya smiles encouragingly._

_“You’re crazy.” Lexa laughs dismissively, but in truth the suggestion sparked something in her._

\--------------------

“Next exit Lexa.” Clarke says bringing Lexa out of her thoughts once again.

Lexa sits up a little straighter and looks up to see the exit fast approaching. Clarke directs Lexa to the first on a long list of addresses that might bring her closer to finding Aden. Lexa feels a sick feeling in her stomach as she pulls off to the side of the road a few houses away from their intended destination.  
Lexa has been so determined to find Aden, she hasn’t thought too much about the prospect of facing off with the Ice nation, of coming face to face with Nia, or Titus.. Suddenly she’s filled with dread and fear, a fear that she hasn’t felt for a long time, a fear that she’d blocked out, that she’d refused to let into her heart again after escaping the Ice nation.

“You ready?” Clarke asks as she slides her gun into the holster on her belt and moves to open the door.

“Yeh.” Lexa mumbles as she does the same and steps outside the car. “I’m ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot of jumping around in this chapter. The next one will be more focused on the present with clarke and lexa. Sorry for the long wait! I plan to update more reguarly from now on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Clarke and Lexa on the road.

“Dammit!”

Clarke looks over just in time to see her partner kick a milk crate across the living room of the abandoned farm cottage in which they currently find themselves.

“Lexa.” Clarke says carefully.

“Nothing!” Lexa growls. “Just like the last 4 places. We’re not getting anywhere Clarke!”

“There’s still lots of places on our list Lexa.” Clarke tries to reason with the clearly agitated girl. “It was always unlikely that we would stumble across something right away, we need to be patient and persevere.”

“We don’t have time.” Lexa snaps back. “What if Roan has us chasing our tails? What if we’re never gonna get anywhere with this and those kids are just getting further away.”

Clarke walks over to the brunette and places a hand on her shoulder. Lexa takes a deep breath before looking up to meet Clarke’s expressive blue eyes. The simple touch would have made Lexa tense up a few days ago, but Clarke, Lexa has discovered, is just a very touchy person. They’ve been on the road for 3 days now and Lexa has become accustomed to Clarke’s casual touches, the way the blonde places her hand on Lexa’s back when she steps around her, or when she gives her shoulder a gentle rub whenever the brunette starts grinding her teeth, and sometimes when Lexa’s mind drifts off when she’s driving, Clarke will reach over and give the brunette’s leg a light squeeze, That one makes Lexa’s heart beat a little faster.

“Everything else Roan has told us tracks, he’s literally the only lead we have at the moment, We have no choice but to keep following it up.”

“What about the car sales from the weekend of the murder?” Lexa asks. “I thought they tracked down some van and bus sales that were purchased with cash..”

“They did.” Clarke replies. “But we still need to find those vehicles. We have people scanning cctv and traffic camera footage, but it takes time.”

“Time.” Lexa sighs. “I’m sick of hearing ‘that it takes time’. We don’t have time Clarke.”

“Well we don’t have any other option Lexa.” Clarke responds. “Come on, lets go get some lunch. We should be able to get in one more place today before we have to find a hotel.”

Clarke drops her hand from Lexa’s shoulder and moves towards the door. Lexa begins to follow when something on the ground catches her attention.

‘What’s that?” Clarke asks when she notices Lexa kneel down and pick something up from off the ground.

“John Player.” Lexa replies.

“Who?” Clarke asks as she steps closer to the brunette.

“Cigarettes.” Lexa says as she holds up the empty pack.

“Is there something significant about them?” Clarke asks.

“It’s a popular brand in Canada.” Lexa replies, only telling Clarke half the truth. Lexa remembers this particular brand from her time with the Ice nation. Titus smoked like a chimney, only ever John players. She remembers the butts lying around everywhere. “I’ll send this to Anya so she can check it for prints. Run it through the Canadian database see if we get any hits.”

“It’s worth a shot.” Clarke smiles softly at Lexa.

 

It’s quiet in the car after leaving the farm house, a strange kind of tension is filling the space between them. Clarke can tell that Lexa is still frustrated at the lack of progress on the case, but she can’t help but feel like there’s something more to Lexa’s bad mood.

“Are you okay Lexa?” Clarke finally speaks, feeling uneasy with the heavy silence.

“I’m fine.” Lexa says solemnly, looking out the passenger window, rather than turning to face her partner.

“Lexa..” Clarke starts.

“Really Clarke.” Lexa interrupts. “I’m fine. Please drop it.”

Lexa finally looks over at her partner when Clarke lets out a frustrated sigh.

“What?” Lexa asks.

“I can’t figure you out Lexa.” Clarke replies. “Your moods are giving me whip lash.”

“My moods?” Lexa replies. clearly offended. “I don’t have moods Clarke.”

“Oh please.” Clarke laughs.

“I don’t.” Lexa insists.

“If you say so.” Clarke mumbles.

The car goes quiet for a little while. It’s Lexa now who is feeling the tension. Deep down she knows the blonde is not wrong. She has been moody, Lexa has found it impossible to not get caught up in Clarke’s charm, the blonde has had her smiling, laughing even, she’s found herself getting distracted by the blonde’s presence to a degree that she finds herself uncomfortable with.  
When the brunette recognizes it happening she scolds herself and makes an effort to try and rebuild a wall between herself and the blonde as not to let things get complicated, but it’s only a matter of time before Clarke knocks that wall down again. Lexa can understand how Clarke might be feeling a bit confused.

“I’m sorry Clarke.” Lexa says quietly. “This case is just really getting to me. It’s not your fault and I’m sorry if I’m making things uncomfortable for you.”

“I get it.” Clarke replies. “I do. It’s horrific. I understand. But I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me. It all seems really personal to you. I mean, I know it was your sisters case, and you’ve been following it since you were young. But it feels like there’s more to it than that.”

Clarke looks over and meets Lexa’s eyes for a moment before looking back at the road. Lexa’s heart starts beating faster. She doesn’t want to lie to Clarke. The thought of it makes her sick, but she has no choice.

“Clarke.” Lexa says softly. “There are reasons that this case means so much to me. But they are personal. I’m not keeping anything from you that would hinder your ability to do your job here. I hope that you can trust me on that and allow me my privacy.”

“I do trust you Lexa.” Clarke replies after a few moments silence. “I trust that you want to find these kids and solve this case. So I will trust that your not keeping anything important to the case from me.”

Clarke notices Lexa nod out of the corner of her eyes before turning to face the brunette.

“I hope you know that you can trust me too Lexa.” Clarke says, staring straight into Lexa’s big green eyes. “If you decide you ever want to let me in, you can trust me.”

“I do trust you Clarke.” Lexa says, barely above a whisper before looking away from the blonde back out her window.

\-------------------------------------------

Clarke waits in the diner in a booth by the window while Lexa finds a post office to send the cigarette pack to Anya.

“What can I do for you today beautiful?”

Clarke looks up to see a man staring down at her, some might use the word ‘ogling’. He’s middle-aged, slimy long brown hair tied back into a pony tail. Wearing an apron that Clarke assumes was white once upon a time.

“I’m waiting for someone.” Clarke replies quickly.

“If you were my girl, I wouldn’t let you out my sight.” The man replies with a smirk before leaning in a little closer to the blonde. “Just so you know, I don’t normally serve, I’m a cook. We’re just a bit short staffed today.”

“Okay.” Clarke replies slowly, Not really sure what her response to that statement is supposed to be. “Well I’ll be sure to call out when my friend and I are ready to order.”

Clarke looks down at her phone, hoping the man will walk away if she ignores him.

“Or I could keep you company until your friend gets here.” The man leans down placing a hand on the table infront of Clarke, a sleazy smirk plastered across his face.

Clarke is just about to lose her cool when she hears a familiar voice.

“Clarke.”

Both Clarke and the man look over to see Lexa approach. Clarke almost laughs out loud when she notices the look that Lexa is giving the cook. The brunette looks as if she’s about ready to grab the man by the scruff of the neck and throw him outside, and Clarke can’t deny that it makes her feel a little warm inside.

“You’re the friend?” The man stands up straight and smiles brightly. “Well isn’t it my lucky day.”

“Excuse me.” Lexa says as she steps in between the man and Clarke before sliding into the booth next to the blonde. She would normally sit opposite her, but she’s feeling a desperate need to put some space between Clarke and this creep.

“Could we please have some menus.” Lexa says sharply, her eyes boring holes into the man infront of her.

“Sure thing sweetheart.” The man says as he grabs a couple of menus off the table behind him. “You girls sit tight, I’ll be back with you in a minute.” The man says as he hands the girls the menus.

Lexa watches the man as he walks off to greet some customers that just entered the diner, she doesn’t even realise how tense she is until she jumps when she feels Clarke’s hand land on her leg under the table.

“Relax Lexa.” Clarke says, letting her hand linger on Lexa’s leg, which has the brunette’s heart rate beating double time.

“You’re not gonna have any teeth left if you keep that up.” Clarke smirks as she removes her hand from Lexa’s leg, the brunette didn’t even realize she was grinding her teeth.

“He was being inappropriate.” Lexa says as she tries to sit back and relax a bit.

“He was just being friendly.” Clarke tries to play the situation down.

“He was staring at your..” Lexa stumbles over her words and becomes immediately flustered. “He was staring at you. He was too close to you. I could see how uncomfortable you were from outside.”

“So you came running in here to save me?” Clarke flutters her eye lids. “My hero.” The blonde laughs.

“Shut up.” Lexa grumbles.

“I’m just kidding.” Clarke laughs some more. “I appreciate it. I do.” The blonde says sincerely. “But you don’t have to worry about me. I can take care of myself. I’m used to jerks like that.”

“It’s not right.” Lexa mutters.

“Well I might just have to keep you around to scare them all off.” Clarke grins as she nudges Lexa in the side with her elbow.

Lexa tries to hide her blushing cheeks behind the menu as she browses her lunch options.

When Clarke notices the man heading back over in her direction she leans in towards Lexa.

“Let’s have a little fun with this guy.” Clarke whispers into Lexa’s ear. Lexa feels a tingle travel through her spine as Clarke’s warm breath hits her neck.

Lexa isn’t sure what Clarke means, so the brunette just sits still and tries not to react when she feels Clarke throw an arm over her shoulder and pull her in tight against her body.

Clarke’s breast are pressed up against Lexa’s right arm, the blonde is practically resting her chin on the Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa holds her breath and tries to relax her body. When she finally breathes again, all she can smell is Clarke, the sweet perfume she’s only gotten passing whiffs of before is now surrounding her, the warmth of the blonde’s body against her sends her own body temperature soaring.

Lexa looks up in time to see the man approach the table, His eyes go a little wide as he looks down at the two girls cuddled up in the booth. “Um, so have you ladies decided what you’ll be having today?”

“You know what you want yet babe?” Clarke asks as she pushes Lexa’s hair behind her shoulder. Before Lexa can even register what is happening Clark is leaning into her, the blonde’s lips brush softly against Lexa’s neck before she presses a soft kiss against the brunette’s skin.  
Every part of Lexa’s body heats up instantly, Clarke’s lips feel so soft against her skin, Lexa almost moans at the contact, but luckily is able to swallow it before it escapes her mouth. Clarke’s arm drops from Lexa’s shoulder down until her hand is on Lexa’s waist, the blonde’s forehead is now resting against Lexa’s temple, waiting for the brunette to reply. Lexa is doing her best to say something but having Clarke so close, she’s can’t function, all she can do is look forward at her menu and hope that the earth will open up and swallow her whole.

“Babe?” Clarke says, giving Lexa’s a side a little squeeze.

“Salad.” Lexa squeaks. Quickly clearing her throat. “A Ceaser salad for me thank you.” Lexa says more confidently the second time.

Clarke looks up at the man who is just staring down at the two of them dumbly.

“I’ll have the cheese burger.” Clarke says as she collects up the menus and shoves them towards the man, breaking him out of his trance.

“Um yeh. Sure thing. Um, Coming right up.” The man stutters as he backs away from the table.

As soon as the cook is far enough away Clarke starts laughing, In the last 3 days Lexa has learnt that Clarke’s husky laugh is her favourite sound.

“God it’s easy to shake people up in these small towns.” Clarke giggles. “Did you see his face?”

“Uh yeh.” Lexa says as she straightens up a little, as much as she doesn’t want to put any space between herself and Clarke, she knows isn’t capable of carrying out a conversation while the blonde is practically sitting in her lap.

“You okay?” Clarke asks when she notices how red Lexa’s cheeks are. “Oh god was that too much?” Clarke asks. “I totally forget about personal boundaries sometimes. I’m sorry Lexa”

“No, no.” Lexa rushes to stop the girl from apologizing. “It’s fine. you just took me by surprise.”

“Okay.’ Clarke smiles at the brunette before shuffling a little further along the seat to give her partner a bit more space. “Just pull me into line if I’m being too much, I know I can be pretty touchy, I don’t mean to be, it’s kind of subconscious. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t make me uncomfortable Clarke.” Lexa replies, her eyes focused down at her salad.

“Okay.” Clarke’s lips turn up into a soft smile.

Lexa picks up her fork, ready to dig into her salad when the sound of Clarke sighing loudly draws her attention.

“Something wrong?” Lexa asks.

“All this diner food.” Clarke grumbles. “I’ve put on 5 pounds in the last 3 days.”

“First of all.” Lexa looks over at the blonde “You have nothing to worry about, your body is perfect. Secondly, if you wanted a healthy lunch, they do have salad.” Lexa nods down to the salad infront of her.

“Salad.” Clarke scrunches up her face. “I’m really not big on salad.”

“Well maybe we can find a supermarket or something so you can buy some ingredients to make yourself a sandwich or something for lunch tomorrow.” Lexa suggests.

”Yeh?” Clarke looks at Lexa with a big smile on her face.

“Yeh.” Lexa laughs.

Lexa looks over to see Clarke smiling brightly at her, her blue eyes sparkling. It takes the brunettes breath away.

Lexa hasn’t really allowed herself to think too much about how much Clarke is affecting her. she’s too afraid to start thinking about it. she hasn’t had feelings for anyone since escaping the Ice nation. The brunette attempted dating a few times at Anya’s insistence, but she just couldn’t do it, she didn’t feel anything for anyone, she just figured she was broken, that what had happened to her in the Ice nation had damaged her beyond repair and she just accepted that she would be alone. It didn’t bother her, she had Anya and Aden and a job she loved, she didn’t feel like she was missing anything.  
But now, she gets butterflies in her stomach when Clarke touches her, her heart skips a beat when Clarke smiles at her. she feels giddy when she makes Clarke laugh. She’s wakes up in the morning excited to see the blonde.

The brunette can’t let herself think about what any of that means. She can’t be distracted. Finding Aden is the only thing that matters right now. That’s what Lexa keeps reminding herself when her thoughts start to veer of course.

Clarke offers to continue driving after lunch. Lexa is happy to let her, she’s feeling quite exhausted after the last few days. The brunette leans back in the passenger seat and leans her head against the window. She watches the buildings fly by until they disappear and are replaced with lush green farm land. She doesn’t try to fight it when she feels her eye lids getting heavy, she closes them and lets sleep take her.

\----------------------------------

_Ice nation training compound 16 Years earlier:_

_“Lexa?”_

_Lexa looks up to see Costia standing in the doorway of her room. she’s never spoken to the girl before, but she’s noticed her. The young red head only arrived about a month earlier, she’s skinny and pale, her porcelain skin looks even more delicate as she leans back against the rough, stone grey wall of Lexa’s room._

_“Yes.” Lexa says as she stands up from her cot._

_“Nia told me to come find you.”_

_“Why?”_

_“She said you would help me train.” Costia replies, her voice small._

_“Help you train?” Lexa repeats._

_“She said that if I didn’t at least try to learn to fight that she would make my death slower and more painful than the one that awaits me in the conclave. She said that you’re the best here.”_

_“There’s not much time before the conclave.” Lexa replies softly. “I’m not sure what I can do for you.”_

_“I get it.” Costia says weakly. “I’m already dead.” The girl turns to leave the room._

_“Costia. Wait.” Lexa says quickly, stopping the girl in her tracks._

_“You know my name?” Costia asks curiously as she turns to look at Lexa._

_“Um Yeh. well, it’s kind of a small world we live in here. I’ve seen you around.” Lexa says, awkwardly rubbing her neck. “I want to help you. I just. I can’t promise anything.”_

_“I know.” Costia replies, “I don’t want to fight at all. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just don’t know what else to do. I can’t escape, I tried starving myself and they force fed me, they beat me when I refused to train… I just don’t know what to do.”_

_“I can help you train.” Lexa says. “At least the you don’t have to worry about anyone bothering you until the conclave.”_

_“I’d appreciate that.” Costia Smiles softly._

_“There’s no point trying to fight Nia.” Lexa says as she sits back down on her bed. “She always wins.”_

_Costia walks over cautiously and stands by the bed. “You’ve tried?”_

_“I tried everything.” Lexa shuffles back against the wall and nods towards the end of the bed, letting Costia know she can sit, and the girl does._

_“What happened?” Costia asks as she sits down a little awkwardly on the corner of the bed._

_“She always seemed a step ahead of me. she always seemed to know what I was planning.” Lexa wrenches her hands in frustration. “She tried to beat me into submission, when that didn’t work she started killing other night bleeders to prove her point. I had to stop. I had to fall in line. What else could I do?”_

_Lexa looks up at Costia and finds the girl with tears in her eyes._

_“Hey.” Lexa slides down the bed until she’s next to the girl. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”_

_“I’m sorry.” Costia says wiping her eyes. “it’s not you. It’s just. I thought you we’re going to be different.”_

_Lexa instinctively moves away from Costia. Suddenly feeling very self-conscious._

_“No.” Costia sniffs. Sensing Lexa’s un easiness. “I don’t mean in a bad way. I just mean, I’ve noticed you around too. I thought you’d be cold, I thought you’d be a hard. I thought you would be brainwashed by this place. It was easier for me to deal with everything if I could believe that’s what everyone was like here. But you’re not. You’re kind, I can see it in your eyes. you’re willing to help me, when you have no good reason too.”_

_Lexa leans back in toward the sobbing girl and places a hand on her shoulder._

_“If it helps at all, not all the kids here are like me.” Lexa says._

_Costia looks up and locks eyes with the Lexa’s big green orbs that she notices suddenly have got a cheeky glint in them._

_“I’m mean, I’m pretty special.”_

_Costia barks out an unexpected laugh which brings a smile to Lexa’s face._

_“Yeh I’m kind of picking up on that.” Costia smiles, letting her eyes linger on Lexa’s._

_Lexa feels a tingle in her stomach as Costia’s soft green eyes seem to look right through her._

_“It is hard.” Lexa says seriously. “None of us want to be here. This place.. It’s a nightmare. We’re all just stuck in this nightmare, and we’re all dealing it with it the best way we can.”_

_“Maybe it would be a little easier if we didn’t all have to go through it alone.” Costia smiles shyly at Lexa._

_“Yeh.” Lexa smiles, realizing that she’s smiled more in the last 5 minutes than she had in the last 5 years. “Maybe you’re right.”_

––––––––––––––––––––––

Lexa wakes when she feels Clarkes hand gently squeeze her leg.

“We’re here.” Clarke informs the blonde.

The two detectives approach an old abandoned feed mill, the sun is setting, but there’s still enough light to see. The women split up and walk around the perimeter of the site, meeting up again at the entrance, both with their guns in hand as they enter the building. The place is empty, no signs of anyone having been there any time recently.

“Looks like another dead end.” Lexa says.

Clarke doesn’t reply, she moves further into the building, Lexa splits off from the blonde to cover more ground.

“It’s empty.” Clarke declares once they’ve swept all the rooms.

“No sign anyone’s been here at all.” Lexa agrees, trying to school her face not to show the disappointment she feels, she doesn’t want make a big deal every time a lead falls through and worry her partner.

“I guess we should go find a hotel.” Clarke sighs. “It’s gonna be dark soon.”

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

 

Clarke is sitting on the bed in her hotel room feeling restless. The blonde should be exhausted from her day but instead she has loads of energy and nothing to do with it.  
Clarke’s mind keeps going back to earlier today in the diner, the way Lexa trembled under her touch. She hadn’t pulled that stunt to get a reaction out of Lexa, but she’d be lying if she didn’t say that the reaction that she ended out getting wasn’t intriguing.

Clarke has always been pretty well in tune with her sexuality, she knows what she likes and she’s normally pretty good at knowing when someone likes her. Clarke wouldn’t deny that she finds Lexa very attractive, not just her looks, although the brunette is the single most beautiful woman Clarke has ever seen. But the way Lexa holds herself, her dominance and strength of will, her intensity, they’re all things that Clarke finds very appealing.

Of course, it’s not something Clarke has given much thought, it’s more a casual observation. Clarke is a professional, and her focus is on the case above all else.

But the blonde definitely felt a rush of something go through her today when she pressed herself up against Lexa, and if she’s any good at reading people, which she fancy’s she is. then Lexa felt something too.

\---------------------------

Lexa is sitting on her bed surrounded by pieces of paper, evidence and statements relating to the case. She’s just about to read Roan statement for the 20th time when she hears a knock on her door.

The brunette carefully crawls off the bed and opens the door. Surprised to see her partner on the other side. Lexa’s eyes flick over the blonde, noticing that she’s dressed differently than Lexa is used to, she’s wearing tight black jeans and a t shirt that hugs her form, even in the blonde’s button down work shirts it’s hard not to notice her voluptuous breasts, but in the form fitting V neck t shirt she’s got on now, it’s almost impossible for Lexa not to let her eyes wonder.

“Clarke?” Lexa finally speaks.

“I think you need a break.” Clarke informs the brunette.

“What do you mean?” Lexa asks, confused.

Clarke steps aside and looks behind her, Lexa follows the blonde’s gaze to see a bar across the road.

“You want to go to a bar?” Lexa asks. Her eyes wide.

“Yes.” Clarke says. “You need to unwind a little. And god knows I could use a drink.”

“I’m a little busy here Clarke.”

Clarke looks past the brunette to see the mess of paper on her bed.

“Lexa you need to get your head out of this case for a few hours. You know all of that backwards.” Clarke says nodding towards her bed. “You’re going to make yourself crazy going over it again and again.”

“I don’t really drink.” Lexa tries.

“You don’t have to drink.” Clarke smiles. “Just come, sit, have dinner, keep me company.”

Lexa can’t help but let her eyes wonder up and down the blonde again, She looks truly stunning, Clarke is without a doubt the sexiest woman that Lexa has ever seen. Lexa realizes that she’s been caught staring when she finally looks back up at the blonde to find her smirking back at her, Lexa feels her cheeks growing hot, she wants to look away, but Clarke has captured her gaze, there’s something in the blonde’s eyes that Lexa can’t read.

“Um.” Lexa stutters. “Yeh okay. Just give me minute to change.”

“Great!” Clarke smiles. “I’ll wait out here.”

Lexa closes the door before falling back on it, needing to pull herself together. The brunette can feel her heart beating faster. The way that Clarke looked at her just now, she seemed pleased with herself for turning the brunette into a blushing mess. Has Lexa been more obvious with her attraction to Clarke than she thought? Does the blonde know the affect she’s having on her?

Lexa takes a deep breath. “It’s just dinner and a drink.” Lexa says to herself as she pushes herself off the door. “It’s not a big deal.” The brunette willing herself to ignore the pounding in her chest and believe the words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little break from the main plot to get in a little Clexa time here. Right back into it on the next chapter. A lot will happen.


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clark and Lexa have an eventful evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's late and I'm super tired, but i really want to get this chapter out, so I'm posting it now. sorry if there are more mistakes than usual lol

Ice nation Training compound 13 years earlier:

_“Are you sure no one saw you.” Lexa whispers as Costia slides into her bed._

_“I’m sure.” Costia replies rolling her eyes, “stop worrying so much.”_

_Lexa shuffles over making room for the other girl beside her in the bed._

_“I just don’t want you getting into trouble.” Lexa tells the red head._

_Costia had first snuck into Lexa’s room after lights out about a month ago, only a few days after the pair had begun training together. Lexa was nervous about the girl getting herself in trouble, but she wouldn’t tell her not to come, she enjoyed her company too much. They would lay side by side all night, Costia would tell Lexa stories from her life before the Ice nation abducted her. Lexa loved hearing about Costia’s life, it sounded so different from the one she remembers leaving behind._

_Costia had loving parents, went to a good school, played sports and went to dances, She had friends that would sleep over at her house on the weekends, they would order pizzas and watch movies and play silly games._  
_It’s the kind of life that Lexa could only dream about, and it made her heart warm knowing that Costia had it._

_“What were we talking about yesterday before you feel asleep?” Costia asks as she turns on her side to face the brunette._

_“I didn’t fall asleep.” Lexa protests._

_“You did too.” Costia giggles, playfully poking Lexa in the ribs._

_“I did not.” Lexa insists. “You always fall asleep first, and I always have to wake you to make sure you get back to your room before the sun comes up.” Lexa grins._

_“Whatever you say Lex.” Costia says as she casually reaches down between the sheets to grab the brunette’s hand. Lexa remembers the first time Costia did that. Lexa didn’t know what to think, she didn’t understand why the girl was holding her hand, but she did know that it felt good, having Costia’s hand in hers, her skin was soft and smooth, and she was warm, it made Lexa feel safe, less lonely, sometimes it made her heart beat speed up, Sometimes it calmed her down, soothed her if she was tense._

_“What were we talking about last night before I feel asleep?” Costia smirks as she rubs her thumb over the back of Lexa’s hand._

_“You were telling me about your school camp.” Lexa smiles, remembering the story the girl was telling her the night before, about how she had nearly shot her teacher with an arrow during her disastrous attempt at archery._

_“Ahh yes that’s right.” Costia muses. “My year 8 School camp. That was an eventful trip.”_

_Lexa shuffles onto her side so she is looking at Costia, their knees graze gently against each other for a moment before Costia finally shuffles in a little closer and pushes one of her legs between Lexa’s, Lexa responds by hooking her leg around Costia’s so they’re completely entwined. Once the handholding began, the girls quickly became very comfortable with each other physically, it would be quite normal for Lexa to lay with her head in Costia’s lap as she told her sorties, sometimes they snuggled up close under the blankets and spooned. They never spoke about it, it just felt natural and Lexa loved the way the being close to Costia made her feel, it made her skin tingle and her heart beat faster, sometimes when they were close, Lexa felt like something was pulling at her from the inside out, like there was something more she wanted to be doing, but she wasn’t sure what._

_“So on the third night of camp, some of the boys snuck into our quarters. Boys and girls fraternizing after dark was strictly forbidden, so it was all very exciting.” Costia began and Lexa couldn’t help but smile as she watched the red head’s eyes shine as she began her story._

_“We all gathered around the light of one little candle, all giggling with the nervous excitement that comes with breaking the rules. One of the boys suggested we play a game. He grabbed an empty bottle out of his bag and put it down in the middle of the circle we had formed around the candle. ‘Spin the bottle.’ He suggested with a devilish grin.”_

_“What’s spin the bottle?” Lexa interupts._

_“Really?” Costia laughs._

_Lexa doesn’t say anything, feeling a little self conscious, she simply shrugs her shoulders and nods her head._

_Costia smiles softly, remembering that Lexa was very young when she was taken and there’s probably a lot of things she doesn’t really understand._

_“It’s a game. Everyone sits in a circle around a bottle, and someone spins the bottle and whoever the bottle is pointing at when it stops spinning, has to kiss the person who spun the bottle.” Costia explains._

_“So you just kiss whoever the bottle lands on?” Lexa asks making a face. “Even if it’s someone you don’t want to kiss?”_

_“Yep.” Costia nods._

_“Sounds terrible.” Lexa replies._

_“It can be.” Costia laughs. “But sometimes it can be really good. Like if the bottle just happens to land on someone that you really want to kiss.”_

_“Was there someone in the circle that you really wanted to kiss?” Lexa feels her cheeks heat up a little as she asks the question._

_“There was.” Costia nods. “But unfortunately, when it was my turn the bottle didn’t land on her. It landed on Benny Milhouse. And he shoved his tongue right in my mouth and drooled all over my chin.” Costia says shaking her head at the memory._

_Lexa laughs nervously, trying not to show her shock at Costia’s admission of wanting to kiss a girl. Lexa had thought about kissing Costia many times. The brunette thought she had imagined it when she felt like maybe Costia would want to kiss her back._

_“Did you ever get to kiss her?” Lexa blurts out without thinking._

_Costia raises her eyebrows at the brunette, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips._

_“Who?” She asks casually._

_“The girl you said you wanted to kiss.” Lexa clarifies trying to find some composure._

_“I did.” Costia nods. “On The last day of camp I worked up the courage and kissed her down by the lake.”_

_“And..” Lexa prods._

_“It was amazing.” Costia smiles. “She was a much better kisser than Benny.”_

_“What happened afterwards?” Lexa asks._

_“She got on a bus the next day and went back to her school, which was about 3 hours away from mine, we said we would keep in touch, but it didn’t last very long. It was just a school camp crush, it was never really going to be more than that I guess.”_

_Lexa takes a moment to absorb this new information about her friend. She suddenly feels very aware of everything, of how close they are to one another, that their legs and tangled up together, that their faces are so close that she can feel Costia’s breath on her lips._

_“I don’t suppose you’ve ever kissed anyone have you Lexa?” Costia finally speaks, her voice is barley a whisper, and Lexa doesn’t miss the way her friend’s eyes flick down to her lips after she speaks._

_“No.” Lexa replies so softly the girl next to her can only just hear._

_“Have you ever thought about it?” Costia asks, as she does she removes her hand from Lexa’s and moves it so it’s resting on the girls hip, toying with the bottom of her shirt for a moment before sliding her fingers under the fabric so they’re resting on Lexa’s soft skin_

_Lexa can only manage to nod her head._

_“I’ve thought about kissing you.” Costia says, looking deeply into Lexa’s green eyes._

_“I’ve thought about kissing you.” Lexa replies, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, the brunette had imagined kissing Costia many times in the last month, she didn’t understand why she felt that way or what it really meant, but Costia had just told her she felt the same way and there was no way Lexa’s going to let her think she was alone in her desire. Costia began to move her hand, letting her fingers graze along Lexa’s taught stomach and the brunette can feel every part of her body heat up and that need that tugs at her from time to time is practically tearing her apart._

_“Well why don’t you kiss me then?” Costia asks as she shuffles in a little bit closer, she’s so close now that Lexa’s lips practically graze against the red heads when she replies._

_“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” Lexa murmurs. “What if I’m not any good at it?”_

_“I guess I’d just have to help you practice until you get it.” Costia smiles against the brunette’s lips before closing the remaining space between them and pushing her lips against Lexa’s._

_Lexa responds quickly, she moves her lips against Costia’s, opening her mouth slightly so she can capture the girls bottom lip. Costia responds by sucking on Lexa’s top lip, in moments the girls lips are dancing together in perfect time. It feels like the most natural feeling thing in the world and pretty quickly Lexa finds herself taking command of the kiss._  
_Kissing Costia is so much better than Lexa Had ever imagined it could be, the brunette had caught herself on many occasions staring at the girls lips, imagining what they would feel like, how she would taste. Wondering if Costia had ever thought about kissing her lips. Now that she was experiencing it she understood very clearly that nothing she could have dreamt up in her imagination could possibly compare to reality._  
_Lexa’s long slender fingers slide into Costia’s fiery red hair as the brunette rolls over on top of the other girl, she deepens the kiss, letting her tongue flick into Costia’s mouth when the girl moans upon feeling Lexa’s knee slide high up between her thighs._  
_Lexa can feel a need growing between her legs, she can feel the intense heat flush through her entire body. Costia moans into Lexa’s mouth as the brunette roughly nips at her bottom lip before pushing her tongue deep into the red head’s mouth, when Lexa feels Costia’s warm wet tongue meet her own she thinks she might completely lose it._  
_When Costia feels Lexa’s hand slide under her shirt and begin to trail up towards her breast she quickly reaches down and stops the brunette._  
_“Shit. I’m sorry.” Lexa quickly says as she pushes herself up off Costia, giving the girl some space. “I got carried away. I didn’t mean to..”_  
_“Lexa stop.” Costia smiles at the girls above her and pulls her back down so she’s laying on top of her again. “Believe me, I want you to touch me like that.” Costia smirks at Lexa, who is now blushing profusely, looking anywhere but at Costia. The red head reaches up and cups Lexa’s cheek, turning her face so that she is looking straight into her eyes “This was your first kiss. This was out first kiss. I want every step with you to be special and memorable. I don’t want to rush things just because we might die tomorrow.”_

_“But we actually might die tomorrow.” Lexa whispers._

_“I don’t think so.” Costia smiles. “I’ve got too much to live for.”_

_Lexa feels a tear escape her eye, she can’t remember the last time she cried. Before she can wipe it away she feels Costia’s thumb brush over her cheek, wiping away the wetness._

_“What’s the matter.” Costia asks._

_“Nothing.” Lexa is quick to reply. “I just….” Lexa lets out along sigh. “I thought I’d learnt how to survive this place. But now… I don’t know. Having this.” Lexa motions between herself and costia. “It’s changed everything. I don’t know what to do.”_

_“You listen to me Lex.” Costia says seriously, taking Lexa’s face in her hands, forcing the brunette to look into her eyes. “Nothing has changed. You’re going to enter that conclave and you’re going to win. You’re going to survive and you’re going to find a way to escape this nightmare.”_

_“If I survive, you don’t.” Lexa whispers._

_“I was never going to survive this.” Costia tells the brunette, “You were always going to win. Don’t you dare make me the reason you give up or lie down in this fight Lex. You have to win. You have to find a way to get out and bring these people to justice. I could never do that, but you can. I know you can. Promise me Lexa.” Costia wipes away her own tears now as she feels Lexa grip her hands desperately. “Please, promise me you won’t let this all be for nothing.”_

_“I promise.” Lexa breathes as she moves in and captures Costia’s lips in a desperate and deep kiss. “I promise.” The brunette whispers again as their lips part._

 

–––––––––––––––––-

Lexa watches Clarke walk over to the bar, she tries really hard not to let her eyes fall down to her arse, but the way the blonde’s jeans are hugging her curves, it’s damn near impossible. She watches Clarke talking with the bar tender, he’s so obviously flirting with her and Clarke’s smiling and laughing along at whatever he’s saying. Lexa knows it’s crazy, but she can’t help but feel a slight pang of jealousy twist in her guts.

Lexa looks away when the blonde turns to head back to the table, looking up only when she hears the two beer bottle’s Clarke was carrying hit the table.

“I hope bud is okay?” Clarke asks.

“Yeh sure. I really don’t drink much, all beer taste the same to me.” Lexa replies.

Clarke pulls a bit of a face as she takes a sip of her beer. “I’m not normally much of a beer drinker.” The blonde says. “I’m remembering why that is.” She Says as she forces down another sip.

“Why did you get beer then?” Lexa asks, trying to not to smile too brightly at the adorable faces Clarke is making as she tries to drink her beverage.

“Well I’d normally drink whisky or Gin.” Clarke replies. “But given it’s a work night I thought I’d better stay off the hard liquor.”

“Probably wise.” Lexa agrees as she takes a sip of her own drink. She doesn’t love the taste, but she manages to get it down without making a face.

“Looks like you’ve earnt yourself a fan.” Lexa says nodding toward the bar.

Clarke turns in time to catch the bar tender staring at her. the young man looks away so fast it’s comical.

“Seems to happen to you a lot.” Lexa smirks.

“I’m a friendly person, It’s not my fault if people take it the wrong way.” Clarke replies defensively. “I guess it’s not something you have to worry about.”

“Meaning?” Lexa asks incredulously.

“Well you don’t have the friendliest demeanour is all.” Clarke smirks. “you’re not exactly approachable.”

“Hasn’t seemed to deter you.” Lexa responds, trying to refrain from smiling.

“That’s because I know you want to be my friend.’ Clarke smiles. “As much as you try to hide it… You like me.”

“Pretty sure of yourself.” Lexa grins.

“I’m just good at seeing what’s right in front of me.” Clarke smirks.

Clarke’s eyes meet Lexa’s and neither girl moves to look away. There’s a tension in the air, that Lexa feels but doesn’t quite know how to read.

“Do you always make it such a chore for people to get to know you?” Clarke finally says with a light giggle. Relieving a bit of the tension between them, much to Lexa’s relief.

“I’m not trying to make it a chore for anyone.” Lexa replies. “I’m just not that interested. I have all the things I need in my life. I have my family and my work. I’m happy. I don’t need anything else.”

“No mention of a girlfriend or wife there I notice.” Clarke says with a grin. “Have you taken a vow of celibacy or something?”

“It’s not a priority is all I’m saying.” Lexa replies. “Everyone’s different Clarke. Don’t judge me because my needs and wants are not the same as your own. And why do you assume wife or girlfriend? Why not husband or boyfriend?”

“Just an educated guess.” Clarke grins. “Am I wrong?”

“It’s really none of your business.” Lexa says frankly before taking a large swig of her beer.

“Sorry.” Clarke puts her hands up. “I’m over stepping again. And I’m not judging by the way.” Clarke continues. “Really I’m not. I was with my ex for 3 years, and when she finally left me, I didn’t blame her one bit. I knew that I put my career before our relationship, I always knew that if she made me choose between my career or her that I would pick my career. Maybe I should adopt your philosophy and just focus on work… but I can’t help it. I want it all.”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa says feeling a little awkward at the personal nature of the conversation, but also feeling a rush of something flow through her body at the revelation that Clarke’s ex was a woman.. excitement, panic, relief, dread. the brunette really wasn’t sure what it was.

“Don’t be.” Clarke waves her hands. “I’m just saying that I’m a red hot mess in the relationship department, so I’m never going to judge anyone, but I just find it hard to believe that you have no expectation or hope to find someone… it just sounds kind of lonely.”

“I like my life Clarke.” Lexa replies “If I’m lonely it’s because I choose to be that way.”

An uncomfortable silence surrounds the woman now. Lexa feels exposed, she’s revealed too much of herself to her partner. Clarke is looking at her, no she’s studying her, she’s feeling claustrophobic under the blonde’s intense gaze.

“How about a game of pool?” Lexa stands abruptly causing Clarke to jump a little.

“Yeh sure.” The blonde quickly recovers. “You play?”

“Not really.” Lexa says as she begins walking over to the table. “But there’s a first time for everything.”

Clarke follows her partner over to the table and places her beer down on a nearby bench. Clarke watches as Lexa begins placing the balls on the table and tries to arrange them, clearly having no idea how they should be placed.

“Why don’t you let me.” Clarke walks over and nudges Lexa aside with her hip before quickly racking up the balls.

“I take it you play?” Lexa asks raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe a little.” Clarke grins as she walks around the table, chalking up her que as she does. Lexa watches as Clarke lines up to shoot. If Lexa thought it was difficult not to stare at the blonde’s arse in those jeans, she had no idea what she was going to be in for trying not to stare at Clarke’s cleavage as she leans over the table.

Clarke breaks the balls up beautifully, sinking two in the process.

“Maybe this wasn’t a great idea.” Lexa mumbles.

Clarke smiles as she lines up her next shot, the blonde looks Lexa square in the eye as she pops her intended target straight into the corner pocket.

“Oh come on!” Lexa laughs as she brings a hand up to cover her eyes. “You could have mentioned that you’re a shark before I put my money in the table. I’m just paying to be humiliated here.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m a shark.” Clarke grins as she sinks her next ball. “But I could probably give you some tips if you want to learn a thing or two?”

“I guess I’d feel better about paying for a lesson than an arse whopping.” Lexa grins.

“Well get over here and show us what you’ve got.” Clarke smiles as she hands the cue over to the brunette.

Lexa stands nervously infront of the table. She really has no idea what she’s doing and she doesn’t want to embarrass herself infront of the blonde. Sensing Lexa’s uneasiness Clarke steps up behind her and places a hand on the brunette’s hip. Lexa flinches a little. But not enough to scare Clarke away.

“Take A step back” Clarke says, pulling Lexa back slightly with the hand that grips the brunette’s waist. Lexa steps back as instructed.

“Now move this foot forward.” Clarke taps Lexa’s left foot with her own. “And lean down toward the table.” Clarke places her free hand on the top of Lexa’s back, gently pushing her down towards the table. Lexa’s breath hitches as she feels Clarke’s body pressing up against her.  
“You want to get down as low as you can, try to get your eyes almost down to the ball level.” Lexa complies, trying not to be too distracted by the feeling of her heart actually trying to beat out of her chest. The next thing Lexa feels is Clarke’s fingers grab onto the hand that she has resting on the table.  
“You want to make a little bridge with your fingers for the cue to slide along.” Clarke says as she manipulates the brunette’s fingers. Once Clarke has Lexa’s hand in the desired position she moves on. Lexa feels the blonde’s fingers trail along her forearm before settling over her other hand that is holding the cue. Every inch of skin that Clarke touches feels like it’s on fire. It almost feels too much for the brunette, having someone so close, her body is feeling things that she had almost forgotten that it was capable of feeling.

“And then you just pull back the cue.” Clarke says helping Lexa carry out the movement. “And bring it forward in one swift steady motion. Never take your eye of the ball that you’re aiming for. Go ahead.” Clarke says releasing her grip on Lexa’s hand the blonde takes a small step back. Lexa takes a deep breath before finally taking her shot. She makes good contact and the white ball hits the ball she was aiming for. The brunette holds her breath as she watches her target roll towards the middle pocket before it veers slightly off course and bounces of the cushion.

“That was great.” Clarke smiles brightly.

“I missed.” Lexa grumbles, and it’s almost too adorable for Clarke to handle.

“Your form was spot on. You’ll be pro in no time.” Clarke replies.

“Well how about for now I just watch you and take notes?” Lexa says as she hops up onto a stool and takes a swig of her beer.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you.” Clarke says with a wink as she walks past Lexa to her next shot. The brunette chokes on her beer, trying to muffle the sound with a cough so Clarke doesn’t notice.

Clarke makes quick work of sinking all the remaining balls on the table and Lexa stares intently at her beer bottle label the entire time, avoiding looking up so she doesn’t accidently get caught in Clarke’s cleavage trap.

Lexa finally looks up when she feels Clarke take a seat across from her.

“Are you hungry?” Clarke asks as she pick a menu up of the table and starts browsing.

“I suppose I could eat.” Lexa replies.

 

The girls keep the conversation light while they wait for their meals, Lexa is on her third beer and the brunette makes a mental note to say no next time Clarke asks her is she would like another, because she can feel the alcohol going to her head a little.

“So, you and your sister are both cops.” Clarke says as she pops a chip into her mouth. “I’m guessing it’s a family tradition type thing? At least one of your parents has to be a cop right?”

Lexa hesitates for a moment as she considers her answer carefully.

“I don’t know my parents.” Lexa begins. “My home was not a good one. I left when I was young. Anya found me when I was 15, she took me in and eventually adopted me. We joked about her being my mum, but she was more like a big sister. She is the only family I have, her and Aden of course.”

Lexa looks up to see Clarke’s big blue eyes staring back at her. The brunette doesn’t want to be pitied, but she is keeping so many secrets from her partner, she wants to be able to tell her something real about herself.

“Lexa I’m sorry. I ..”

“Clarke.” Lexa holds up her hand to stop the blonde speaking. “Please don’t look at me like that. You asked a question. I answered. We don’t need to get into it and I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. Anya changed my life. She gave me a home and a family to be a part of and I’m very happy.”

Lexa gives the blonde a small smile to let her know she’s not upset, but that she just wants to move off the subject.

“My dad died when I was young.” Clarke says quietly. Wanting to give something back to Lexa after the brunette had exposed something so personal about herself.

“He was murdered. The perpetrator was never caught.”

“Clarke I’m sorry.” Lexa replies quietly.

“It’s okay.” Clarke smiles weakly. “It was a long time ago. I guess it’s the reason I wanted to be a detective.”

“Makes sense.” Lexa replies.

“Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if he had lived, how different my life would be, how different I would be.” Clarke smiles sadly.

“I find it’s best not to ask ourselves those questions.” Lexa replies. “nothing can change the past. It’s happened, and we are who we are because of it or in spite of it. I endured a lot of things that a child shouldn’t have to, and I wouldn’t wish my past on anyone, but I’m proud of the person I am now, and I’m proud of the work I do.”  
Lexa hesitates for a moment, contemplating if she’s going to continue. The brunette takes a deep breath and decides to go on. “I’ve been impressed by you from the moment we met Clarke, you’re passionate and you wear your heart on your sleeve, you have a strength that comes through in everything you do. You should be proud of who you are, I’m sure your father would have been.”

Lexa nervously picks up her beer bottle and goes to take a swig, only realizing that it's empty when she lifts the bottle to her mouth. Clarke’s lips turn up and the blonde smiles warmly at her partner, somehow making Lexa feel comfortable.

‘Thank you.” Clarke says as she reaches across the table and squeezes Lexa’s hand gently. “One more?” the blonde raises a questioning eyebrow as she looks at Lexa’s empty beer.

“Maybe one.” Lexa smiles.

……….

A couple more than 'one more' beer later, Lexa and Clarke stumble out of the bar. The cold night air hits them both as they step out onto the sidewalk.

“Brrr.” Clarke grumbles. Without even thinking she loops her arm through Lexa’s and cuddles up to her side as they begin to walk, Lexa doesn’t even flinch at the contact, maybe it’s the alcohol in her system, or maybe it’s just because Clarke makes her feel more comfortable than she thought anyone outside of her little family could.

The pair walk across the road in silence, the girls stop when they reach Lexa’s hotel room door. Lexa is about to say goodnight when Clarke steps away from her and leans up against the brunette’s door, looking at Lexa with a look that detective doesn’t quite know how to read.

“Thank you for convincing me to come out Clarke.” Lexa says, trying to relieve a bit of the tension that suddenly surrounds them. “I had a good time. You were right, I needed the break.”

“The night doesn’t have to end right now.” Clarke smiles coyly at Lexa before reaching over to the brunette and hooking her finger through one of the belt loops of her partners pants before gently pulling her closer. Lexa lets herself move forward towards Clarke, stopping when their toes are touching. “We could have one more drink.” Clarke’s eyes flick to the door behind her.

‘Is Clarke asking to come into my room?’. Lexa asks herself trying to remain composed. Her eyes flick down when she notices Clarke’s tongue sneak out and run over her soft pink lips. Lexa remembers the last time she was in a situation like this. After months of Anya nagging her, she’d agreed to go on a date, at the end of the night Lexa walked the girl to her door, Lexa told the girl goodnight and froze when her date leaned in and kissed her, Lexa gave the girl a tight-lipped peck and made a quick exit. The difference between that situation and the one Lexa finds herself in now, is that Lexa is desperate to kiss Clarke Griffin, body on fire, blood screaming inside her to work it’s will desperate. Every molecular in Lexa’s body wants to lean forward and capture Clarke’s lips.

“Clarke.” Lexa manages to speak, but it’s barley a whisper.

“You don’t want to?” Clarke asks, but the smirk on her lips shows that she knows the answer.

“I want to..” Lexa says, letting her right hand land on Clarke’s hip. “God I want to Clarke.”

Lexa’s normally green eyes are all but black now as she stares into Clarke’s equally dark eye’s.

Clarke feels electricity surge through her body as she feels Lexa’s strong hand squeeze her hip as she stares hungrily into her eyes.

“Fuck Lexa.” Clarke breathes. “I’m so attracted to you. Do you know that?”

Lexa leans even more forward, like there’s some magnetic field pulling her towards the blonde.

“We shouldn’t.” Lexa murmurs, but her body betrays her and she inches even closer to her partner, she’s so close she can feel Clarke’s breath on her lips.

“We can go back to being lonely tomorrow.” Clarke says as she reaches up and cups Lexa’s face, pulling the brunette in and crashing their lips together.

The kiss is immediately frantic, Lexa slides her fingers into Clarke’s hair and tries to pull the blonde impossibly closer, there’s no room between their bodies anymore, Lexa is pressing the blonde against the door, trying desperately to get closer.

Lexa feels Clarke’s tongue slide along her bottom lip and the brunette opens her mouth eagerly accepting Clarke’s tongue into her mouth. Both girls moan as their tongues meet, Lexa leaves one hand in Clarke’s hair while the other one finds the door knob. When the door opens Lexa sweeps Clarke into the room and closes the door, pushing Clarke up against it again.

Clarke grabs Lexa by the collar of her shirt and pulls her back against her lips. Lexa moans as she pushes her body back up against the blondes.

“Lexa.” Clarke breathes against Lexa’s lips between kisses.

“Fuck, Clarke.” Lexa groans as she slides her hands up Clarke’s sides, brushing along the side of Clarke’s breast over her shirt, causing the blonde to buck her hips forward and grip onto Lexa’s waist pulling her in as tight to her body as humanly possible.

Clarke finds the gap between the top of Lexa’s pants and the bottom of her shirt. Her hands are still cold from the night air, but Lexa’s skin is hot and so soft, Clarke wants to run her hands over every inch of the brunette’s body.

Lexa feels Clarke’s hands on her bare skin and the heat between her legs feels like it might actually set fire to her body, but then the brunette feels Clarke’s fingers graze over one of the more prominent scars on her lower back and it’s as if someone has thrown a bucket of cold water on her.

“Shit.” Lexa swears as she pushes herself away from the blonde, stumbling back into the dresser on the opposite side of the room.

“Fuck.” Lexa mutters as the dresser wobbles and her papers and case files fall to the ground.

Clarke Is still standing frozen against the door, as she watches Lexa stumble across the room.

“Lexa.” Clarke says. Quickly pulling herself together and stepping away from the door. “I’m sorry.. I thought”

“Clarke.” Lexa interrupts the blonde. “I’m sorry. I just need some air.”

Lexa strides past Clarke and through the door out into the night, ignoring her partners pleas for her to stop.  
Lexa paces in the hotel carpark trying to compose herself, for a moment she thinks she might be having a panic attack, but after a few laps of the carparks and some big deep breathes she feels her emotions settle a little.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Lexa growls to herself in the dark car park.

Lexa looks back to the hotel and see’s the door to her room still open, she’s a little surprised that her partner hasn’t come out yet. How would she explain her behaviour, it’s not like she can explain to Clarke that she freaked out because she remembered that her body is covered in horrendous scars and tattoos that would reveal the truth about who she is and Clarke would know that she has been lying about everything since they met.

How could she forget that!? how did she let this happen?!

As the brunette makes her way back to the room she desperately tries to think of what she might say to the blonde. When she enters the room Lexa still doesn’t know what she could say to try and explain herself.  
Clarke is sitting on the edge of the bed, the blonde is looking intently at a case file that she’s holding in her hands. Lexa takes a step forward into the room and opens her mouth to speak, but when she notices which particular case file Clarke is looking at she freezes.

“Clarke.” Lexa breathes.

Clarke’s expression is steely, Lexa has never seen the blonde’s eyes look so hard.

“What is this?” Clarke holds up Aden’s missing person file up for Lexa to see.

Lexa moves her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long break between chapters! life has been crazy. I'm really hoping to get back on top of this story.


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa has some explaining to do

“I can explain.” Lexa says stepping closer to the blonde. Clarke gets up off the bed and walks to the other side of the room away from her partner.

“This is your nephew!” Clarke says pointing to the picture of Aden that’s stuck onto the missing persons file. “He’s missing and he has black blood. Are you going to try and tell me you don’t think he’s with the Ice nation?!” Clarke asks, her voice shaky with anger.

“No.” Lexa replies quickly. “I mean yes. I do believe the ice nation has him. Clarke please.”

“Why would you keep this from me?” Clarke demands. “You promised you wouldn’t keep anything from me that relates to the case. I believed you!”

Lexa’s heart breaks at the disappointment and hurt in Clarke’s voice.

“Clarke.” Lexa starts. “I didn’t want to lie to you, Believe me, please. I’m not allowed to work on any case involving Aden, if anyone knew that he was abducted by the ice nation, I would be taken of the case, I would probably lose my job, Anya would probably lose her job, and I would lose all of the resources now available to me to find him. I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t.”

“You didn’t trust me?” Clarke asks, her big blue eyes finding Lexa’s green orbs.

“Clarke, I didn’t know you.” Lexa sighs. “And once I did, I didn’t want to put you in a position where you had to lie for me, I didn’t want to put your career in jeopardy.”

“I don’t understand.” Clarke says as she brings her fingers up to rub her forehead. “Why would you lose your job?”

“It’s a long story.” Lexa replies. “I made some mistakes when Aden went missing, it’s complicated.”

“I want to know everything.” Clarke bites.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” Lexa replies quickly.

“Not now.” Clarke mumbles. “I can’t deal with this right now. My head is spinning, I can’t think straight. We’ll talk in the morning.”

Clarke makes her way to the door.

“Clarke.” Lexa calls after her.

The blonde stops and looks back at her partner.

“Are you going to report me?”

“I’m not doing anything tonight, I’m going to sleep. And in the morning, we’re going to talk.” Clarke replies over her shoulder, unable to make eye contact with the brunette. Clarke begins to move again, making it to the door way before Lexa calls her name again.

Clarke looks over to Lexa after a moment of silence.

“I’m sorry.” The brunette finally speaks, her eyes wide and sincere.

Clarke doesn’t respond, she just barley nods her head before walking out of the room. Lexa watches the door close behind her partner as she leaves.  
The brunette sits on her bed and picks up Aden’s file from the floor infront of her. She traces over the image with her fingertips. “I’m sorry.” She whispers again as she stares down at her nephew’s smiling face.

 

Lexa tidies up the spilled files from the floor of her hotel room before changing and getting into bed. The brunette stares at the ceiling, going over what she’s going to tell Clarke in the morning. Every so often her mind wonders and she thinks about the kiss they shared, she closes her eyes and she can feel Clarke, she can taste her lips and smell her shampoo. The detective scolds herself for letting her thoughts drift back to the kiss and for the butterflies she gets in her stomach when she does. She had no right to kiss Clarke, not while she is keeping so much from her, not when she is lying to her about who she is.

Lexa lets out a long sigh when she realizes that the chances of her getting any sleep tonight are minimal. The brunette reaches for her bag at the side of the bed and pulls out her phone and some ear phones that she picked up at the last gas station they stopped at. The detective finds the spotify playlist that Clarke made for her and hits play.

_My body is a cage that keeps me_   
_From dancing with the one I love_   
_But my mind holds the key_

_I’m standing on a stage_   
_Of fear and self doubt_   
_It’s a hollow play_   
_But they’ll clap anyway_

_My body is a cage that keeps me_   
_From dancing with the one I love_   
_But my mind holds the key_

_You’re standing next to me_   
_My mind holds the key_

_I’m living in an age_   
_That call darkness light_   
_Though my language is dead_   
_Still the shapes fill my head_

_I’m living in an age_   
_Whose name I don’t know_   
_Though the fear keeps me moving_   
_Still my heart beats so slow_

_My body is a cage that keeps me_   
_From dancing with the one I love_   
_But my mind holds the key_

_My body is a cage_   
_We take what we’re given_   
_Just because you’ve forgotten_   
_Doesn’t mean you’re forgiven_

_I’m living in an age_   
_That screams my name in the night_   
_But when I get to the doorway_   
_There’s no one in sight_

_I’m living in an age_   
_That laughs when I’m dancing with the one I love_   
_But my mind holds the key_

_You’re standing next to me_   
_My mind holds the key_

_Set my spirit free_   
_Set my spirit free_   
_Set my body free_   
_Set my body free_

Lexa feels the weight of the words of the song like a boulder on her chest as she lays in the dark hotel room, for the first time in what feels like a life time she lets herself cry, she feels the liquid build up in her eyes and run down her cheeks and she doesn’t stop herself, she just lets the tears flow until she falls asleep.

 

\----------------

 

“ _You ready commander?”_

_Lexa looks up from her cot to see Roan standing in her doorway._

_“It’s starting in a couple hours. I hope you’ve got your head on straight.” Roan leans casually against the door frame._

_“I need to speak to your mother.” Lexa says standing abruptly._

_“What?” Roan replies. “Why?”_

_“I need to talk to her.” Lexa crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m not going to set foot on that arena until I’ve spoken to her.”_

_Roan can tell that Lexa means it, he’s known the girl long enough to know when she means business, so he quickly leaves to find his mother. Not 15 minutes later Roan returns, Lexa looks up to see the man in her doorway before he steps aside revealing his mother behind him._

_“I would have thought you’d learnt your lesson about making demands by now Lexa.” Nia says casually as she strolls into the brunette’s room._

_“This will be the last one I ever make.” Lexa says, standing up from her cot._

_“I’ll agree with you on that.” Nia hisses._

_“I will fight in this conclave today and I’ll win. I’ll be your commander, I’ll lead you all in the new world and I’ll do it with a smile on my face.”_

_“Confident little girl, aren’t you?” Nia smirks._

_“I am.” Lexa says holding her chin up high. “I know I can win and so do you.”_

_“I have always believed that Lexa.” Nia replies. “That’s why it’s hurt me so much watching you fight it all this time.”_

_“I’m not going to fight you anymore.” Lexa responds. “But I need one thing from you, I’ll never ask for anything more if you grant me this one thing.”_

_“And what is this one thing?” Nia asks, her patience flailing._

_“Costia.” Lexa replies. “She’s not going to fight in the conclave.”_

_Nia snickers at the girl. “That’s no small demand Lexa.”_

_“There’s no reason for her to be there.” Lexa retorts. “She’s not a contender, she’ll be dead in minutes. I’ve done the best I could training her, but she’s not a fighter. She’d just be there to die. It’s pointless.”_

_“They’re all going to die Lexa.” Nia snarls. “why should I spare her?”_

_“Because if she dies I have no reason to go on. I won’t fight. I’ll let them kill me. And you can threaten me, or Costia, but like you said, we’re all going to be dead in a few hours any way. So I’ve got nothing left to lose”_

_Nia grits her teeth as she considers Lexa’s words for a moment._

_“Very well Lexa.” The older woman finally responds. “Costia will not be a part of the conclave.”_

_Lex breathes a sigh of relief as Nia makes her way towards the door._

_“But know this.” Nia turns before leaving the room. “If you don’t claim victory in the conclave, your little girlfriend will join you and the rest of the losers on the funeral pyre._ ”

_Roan steps aside as his mother storm out of the room._

_“I hope you know what you’re doing kid.” Roan says before scurryin off after his mother._

 

\-------------------------------

Clarke wakes up in the morning with a slight headache, she’s not sure if it’s from the alcohol she consumed the night prior or because of the terrible night sleep she had. It took her hours to drift off, she couldn’t stop thinking about the revelation that Lexa’s nephew was one of the abducted children, that her partner had been outright lying to her from day one. She almost got out of bed several times during the night, ready to barge into Lexa’s room and demand a proper explanation but she knew she wasn’t in the best state of mind to get into it, and it would be better to wait for the morning when she had a clearer head.

And the kiss… She can’t even bring herself to think about the kiss. What kind of a game was Lexa playing with her? the kiss felt real, it was the most passionate kiss she’d ever experienced in her life, she could feel it right down to her bones that it meant something to Lexa. But did it? she’s clearly not as good at reading Lexa as she thought she was.

It’s now 7:30am, the blonde has showered and packed her bag and is ready to get to the bottom of everything. Clarke opens her hotel room door to find Lexa standing on the other side.

“Lexa.” Clarke jumps a little.

“I’m sorry.” Lexa says quickly. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just about to knock.”

“It’s okay.” Clarke replies. “Come in.”

Lexa walks in cautiously, stopping once she’s in the middle of the room, the brunette turns to face her partner.

“Clarke.” Lexa starts when she realises that the blonde isn’t going to get the ball rolling. “Aden went missing 10 months ago. At the time I thought it was his father who had taken him. He had only recently come back into the picture and he left just a couple days before Aden went missing. I took things into my own hands, I tracked him down and I…”

Lexa looks up at Clarke who is still standing by the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I pressed him for information… I pressed him hard. He called it torture. and I suppose that is accurate.”

Lexa notices Clarke hands drop down to her side and her expression change a little, not soften, but change.

“Aden is my world.” Lexa says, trying to justify her actions to her partner. “when Anya found me, I was very lost. I was not.. right. I wasn’t…” Lexa struggles to find the words, she closes her eyes for a moment and takes a breath.  
“Aden was a baby, and he… having him in my life, made me want to be someone, it made me want to be a part of the world.. so I could be a part of his world. I wanted him to have the childhood that I never had, I wanted to help give him that, I wanted him to be happy and innocent. When I lost him, everything went dark, I lost myself for a while. I made mistakes and Aden’s father went to the chief of police and I was suspended. Having no involvement in Aden’s case was a condition of re instatement. When I started to see the connection with the Ice nation I followed the trail, but I left Aden out of it.”

“You could have told me.” Clarke finally speaks.

“I wanted to Clarke.” Lexa steps forward toward her partner. “I never wanted to keep anything from you.. I couldn’t risk it. I just couldn’t.”

“What happens when you find him?” Clarke asks. “It will be obvious to the chief that you knew what you were doing.”

“It won’t matter.” Lexa replies. “Once I have him back. nothing else matters.”

Clarke studies Lexa’s face for a moment, the brunette is looking straight in Clarke’s eyes, not wavering, just staring at her, begging for understanding.

“I won’t say anything about Aden.” Clarke finally speaks. “As far as I’m concerned he’s your nephew, who’s at home with your sister, I haven’t seen or heard anything about him on this case, and have no reason to believe that he might be one of the children we are looking for.”

Lexa breathes a sigh of relief “Clarke. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.” Clarke says as she walks across the room and picks up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. “Just don’t lie to me again.”

 

The car ride is tense to say the least, neither girl has said a word since they left the hotel. Lexa is driving and Clarke has been staring intently out the passenger side window, not putting on music like she normally would, not constantly commenting on things she see’s out the window like a bored kid would do as she normally does as a passenger.

All Lexa can think about is how she’s going to tell Clare the rest of her story. She knows she has to, she knows she should have done it back at the hotel, she just doesn’t know how to get the words out, she’s never told anyone her story aside from Anya. The thought of Clarke knowing that part of her is terrifying.

About 2 hours into the journey Lexa notices Clarke finally turn her head so she’s facing her, the blonde doesn’t say anything and neither does Lexa, she just pretends she can’t tell that her partner is staring at her and keeps looking forward.

“I’m sorry I kissed you.” Clarke finally speaks, it comes out blunt and pretty harsh, the blonde feels instantly guilty when Lexa looks at her like she just shot a puppy. Her green eyes, big and round and undeniably hurt.

“I mean..” Clarke continues. “I don’t mean I’m sorry about the kiss itself. It was a great kiss, I just mean. I shouldn’t have done it. It was really unprofessional. I don’t know what got into me”

“You regret it?” Lexa says, unable to hide her vulnerability.

“I don’t regret it.” Clarke says, softening her tone a bit. “It just shouldn’t have happened. We’re on a case, not a date. There’s a time and place for that kind of thing. I shouldn’t have crossed that line.”

Lexa doesn’t say anything. She nods slightly and keeps her eyes forward.

“Clarke.” Lexa says, deciding it’s time to get everything out in the open, she needs to tell her everything, she can’t keep it in anymore.

Clarke looks at her partner, ready to hear whatever it is she has to say when her phone starts ringing.

Clarke fishes her phone out of her bag and answers.

“What?” Clarke asks the person on the other end of the line. “Is that in Vermont? We’re not far away, we’ll head there now.”

Clarke hangs up the call and opens up google maps on her phone.

“What was that about?” Lexa asks.

“They’ve sighted a van that was sold in Arcadia on that weekend, it was in Vermont yesterday, apparently with a number of children on board by the look of the cctv.”

“One of the places Roan told us about was in Vermont!” Lexa exclaims.

“I know.” Clarke replies, trying to keep her cool. “I’m finding the address now.”

Clarke directs Lexa to change course and the detectives are on their way to the Vermont.

 

“Pull up here.” Clarke instructs, and Lexa pulls over onto the side of the road.

It’s not a suburban street, they’re on the edge of the state forest, houses are few and far between on this road. The girls get out of the car, and make their way to the driveway, they walk along the tree line that runs along the unsealed dirt road until they can see the old farm house that sits at the end it.

“No sign of the van.” Clarke observes.

Lexa takes the lead, walking ahead of Clarke she takes her gun out of its holster and presses forward.

The detectives approach the house, Lexa motions for Clarke to go around to the back of the house as she heads towards the front door. Once Lexa is on the front porch she peers into the window, she can see the tv is on. The brunette gently tests the doorknob and it turns. Lexa quietly pushes the door open and slides into the house.

A soon as Lexa enters the house she can smell smoke, cigarette smoke, it’s all too familiar and in that instant, she knows who is in the house with her.

A noise comes from somewhere in the house, It sounds like a kettle boiling, Lexa follows the noise, her gun at the ready, she turns a corner into the kitchen. Empty, but the kettle is boiling, someone is here. Just as Lexa is about to turn to check the next room she feels the cold metal of a gun on her temple and an arm wrap around her waist.

“You’ve lost your touch commander.” A familiar voice speaks directly into her ear. “I heard you on the porch, you’ve gotten sloppy.”

“Titus.” Lexa says though gritted teeth.

“I knew you’d come for me one day Lexa.” The man says, keeping a tight grip on the detective. “Looking for revenge or justice.. You poor misguided child. You never could put your emotions aside, as much as I tried to teach you that they were your weakness. And now you’ve followed them here and you’re going to die.”

“Don’t move!” Lexa and Titus both look up to see Clarke, who has entered the kitchen through the back door, her gun raised and pointed at Titus.

“Clarke. Shoot him!” Lexa demands

“Put your gun down.” Titus yells over Lexa. “I will shoot her!” He says as he pushes the gun harder against the side of Lexa’s head.

“I’ve already called for back up.” Clarke informs the man. “There’s a whole lot of police on their way here right now. The best thing you can do is surrender and come freely.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Titus replies. “Lexa here is coming with me.”

“Stop!” Clarke yells as Titus tries to move.

“Clarke! shoot him!” Lexa yells again.

Shut up Lexa!” Clarke bites back.

“You let me walk out of here now or I blow her brains out!” Titus demands.

Before Clarke can decide the best course of action, Lexa takes things into her own hands. The brunette reaches up and grabs Titus’s wrist, pulling the gun away from her head at the same time throwing an arm behind her into Titus’s stomach.

The gun fires and Clarke feels a chill run down her spine when she hears Lexa yell out in pain. Titus takes the opportunity to flea. Clarke runs over to Lexa who is on the ground clutching at her side.

“Clarke go!” The brunette waves the blonde away. “I’m fine. Don’t let him get away!”

Clarke takes off like a flash in hot pursuit of Titus, the blonde runs out the front door and fires a shot at the bald man running down the driveway, He cries out and falls to the ground, clutching at his leg. Clarke runs up to the man cautiously, knowing he still has a gun, when she gets closer she can see the gun on the road, the detective picks up the gun before approaching Titus, he’s curled in a ball holding his leg where he has been shot. Clarke drags him back towards the house and cuffs him to the porch before leaving him to check on Lexa.

When the blonde gets back into the kitchen Lexa is barely conscious, laying in a pool of her own blood. Clarke kneels down and runs her fingers through the blood, examining her fingers to confirm that she isn’t seeing things. Lexa’s blood is black.

“Shit!” Clarke swears as she frantically searches Lexa’s body for her phone. She finds it in her partners back pocket and pulls it out, immediately finding Anya in her contacts.

“Lexa?” Anya answers on the 3rd ring.

“Anya.” Clarke replies. “This is Clarke Griffin.”

“Clarke? What? Where’s Lexa?” Anya asks, her voice getting more frantic with each syllable.

“You need to listen to me very carefully.” Clarke replies. “Lexa has been shot. She’s bleeding heavily. She’s going to need a transfusion. She has black blood. She would have to have a supply of her own blood at the Polis hospital, it’s policy if you have a rare blood type on the force. You need to get that blood on a chopper to Montgomery hospital, Vermont. Right now.”

“Montgomery, Vermont.” Anya repeats.

“Yes. Anya. You need to hurry.”

“I will.” Anya replies. “Clarke. Is she going to be okay?”

“I.. I don’t know. Please just hurry.” Clarke says before hanging up.

Clarke pulls Lexa’s shirt up to try and see where she has been shot, all she can see is black, she finds the entry wound and applies pressure, the detective is looking around frantically trying to find something she can use to try and help stop the bleeding when she hears the sound of sirens approaching.

“Clarke.” Lexa’s eyes are closed, and her voice is weak. “Did you get him?”

“Yeh we got him.” Clarke says as she grabs a hold of Lexa’s hand to let her know she’s right there. “We got him. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning - violent character death  
> Sad Lexa ; (

_Lexa ducks as a sword comes flying at her head from the right, The brunette has fought this particular opponent many times, she knows the girls next move before she makes it, she can tell that Luna is getting tired, her attacks are getting sloppy. The pair have trained together countless times over the years, but this is the first time they’ve ever actually been trying to kill each other._

_Lexa kicks Lunas wrist and the sword falls out of her opponent’s hand far too easily. The brunette studies Luna for a moment, the girl is covered in blood head to toe, as is Lexa, her big brown eyes look sunken and vacant. She doesn’t have any fight left in her._

_Lexa always knew it would be Luna and herself at the end of this fight, Luna was the only person who ever really challenged her, she’s surprised to see the other girl giving up. But then again, maybe not, after all the people they’ve killed, after all the horrible things they’ve been forced to do to each other. If it weren’t for Costia, Lexa isn’t so sure she’d have the will to go on herself._

_Lexa glances over to the stage where Nia sits watching on, Titus as always, by her side. The brunette then glances over to the edge of the platform where Costia is standing, Roan close behind her, his hand on her shoulder. It’s unclear if he’s comforting her or holding her back. Even from this distance Lexa can see the red head’s face is wet from tears._

_Lexa looks back to Luna, the girl is barley standing, no weapon in her hands and a defeated look on her face. Lexa pulls a dagger from her belt and steps closer to the girl, Lexa looks directly into Luna’s eyes as she pokes the tip of the dagger into the girls chest, right over her heart. As she stares deeply into Luna’s eyes it almost feels as if she is asking Luna’s permission, when Luna gives Lexa a weak nod the brunette pushes the dagger deep into her heart. Lexa wraps her arms around the girl and lowers her gently to the ground._

_“I’m sorry.” Lexa leans in and whispers into Luna’s ear as she lays her down on the cold concrete floor._

_Luna reaches up and grabs her opponents face before Lexa moves to stand back up. She cups her cheek gently and looks into Lexa’s big green eyes, tears welling up in the corners, threatening to drop down onto the dying girl in her arms._

_“Don’t be.” Is all Luna manages to say before taking her last breath and fading away infront of Lexa._

_“Very good Lexa.” A voice gets Lexa’s attention._

_The brunette looks over to where Nia is now standing at the edge of her stage, slowly clapping her hands._

_“I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me.” Nia says with a smirk that makes Lexa’s blood boil._

_“And as promised.” Nia nods at Titus and the bald man quickly goes to the edge of the stage and fetches Costia. He brings her to the centre of the stage where Nia stands._

_“Your friend was spared.” Nia looks from Costia to Lexa, and Lexa feels a shiver down her spine, she’s just about to move towards the stage when she notices Nia nod at Titus, and then in the blink of an eye Titus has pulled a knife out from his robe and slit Costia’s throat. “from the conclave anyway.” Nia finishes with an evil smirk._

_“No!” Lexa screams and runs towards Costia, leaping onto the stage and catching the girl just before she hits the ground. Lexa lowers her down gently and covers her bleeding throat with her hands, trying desperately to stop the bleeding, but it’s a deep cut and Lexa knows that the girl only has moments to live._

_“Costia.” Lexa sobs. Tears pouring down her cheeks as she cups Costia’s face with a bloody hand, trying to get the girl to look at her. “Costa please. I’m so sorry.”_

_Costia manages to focus her eyes on Lexa’s, the girl looks desperate, like she wants to speak, but she can’t._

_“Costia.” Lexa sobs. “Please, please don’t leave me.”_

_Costia looks at Lexa and for a moment her eyes look determined and strong. “Lexa.” Lexa leans in as close as she can so she can hear her. “End this.”_

_That’s the last thing costia says, her eyes close and her body goes still and limp. Lexa cries as she hugs her lifeless body tightly against herself._

_“I’ve tried to tell you Lexa.” Titus says, prompting Lexa to look up at him. “Love is weakness. You’ll understand why it had to be this way one day.”_

_Lexa gently lays Costia on the floor and begins to stand, murder in her eyes, rage building inside her as she rises up to her feet._

_“Think carefully about your next move Lexa.” Nia says with a warning tone, flicking her eyes around at the many guards surrounding them._

_“You don’t learn do you child.” Nia continues. “You have a role to play here with us. You have fought against me from the moment I brought you her. Then demanding I spare this girl.” Nia motions down to Costia’s lifeless body. “As if she means anything at all! You will learn what it means to be in command now, to be responsible for these people. For your people. You will understand one day why I had to take her from you. You cannot belong to one person Lexa, not when we all belong to you.”_

_Lexa looks at the crowd of people who have gathered around, the members of Ice nation, the people who will now call her commander._

_Lexa feels like she might be sick, everything in her wants to grab her sword and drive it into Nia’s chest._

_Lexa eyes bore into Nia, her fist shaking with rage. She takes a step towards the woman which prompts the gaurds surrounding them to take a step closer too._

_“You going to let them kill me?” Lexa asks Na defiantly. “After all this, you’d let them kill your precious commander?”_

_“Lexa my dear.” Nia says calmly. “The Commander is essential to our people’s survival, not you. I’d hoped that you would be the one. if you reject the title and force us to kill you, it would be very disappointing indeed. We would need to begin this entire process again, new nightbleeders, more years of training, trials and death. I would hate to put another group of children through the ordeal because you couldn’t live up to your responsibilities.”_

_Lexa takes a few deep breathes as she digests Nia’s words._

_“Come on.” Lexa feels a hand grab her elbow, she snaps her head around to see Roan. “Lexa please. Come with me. Let’s get you cleaned up.”_

_“Yes, please do.” Nia says. “We will be celebrating your victory later this evening.”_

_Lexa looks down at Costia again, then at the crowd that are still gawking at the spectacle. She feels dizzy, the room is spinning. Roan tugging on her arm snaps her back to reality, after a small bit of resistance the brunette lets Roan drag her away._

 

_**********_

 

“Where is she!”

Clarke hears a woman franticly yelling from the hallway. The blonde stands from the uncomfortable arm chair by Lexa’s hospital bed. The detective feels an ache in her spine, having moulded itself to fit the chair over the last 4 hours.

“Lexa woods!” The woman yells. “Where is my sister!”

Clarke runs out into the hallway to see a tall, slim woman with dark blonde hair desperately trying to get someone’s attention. The blonde recognizes her from the picture she saw at Lexa’s apartment.

“Anya.” Clarke calls out and the woman’s head quickly snaps towards her voice.

“Yes?” Anya replies as she rushes over to Clarke.

“I’m Clarke Griffin.” Clarke steps aside. “Lexa’s in here.” The blonde motions towards the doorway of Lexa’s room.

Anya rushes in and straight to Lexa’s side, looking her sister over.

“She’s going to be fine.” Clarke says as she steps up behind the taller woman. “the bullet didn’t hit anything major, she lost a lot of blood. But thanks to you she was able to get a transfusion in time.”

“She’s okay?” Anya looks at Clarke, relief written all over her face.

“She’s fine.” Clarke smiles. “She’s been sleeping for the last few hours… I didn’t want her to be alone when she woke up.. but if you’re gonna be here a while I might go get some sleep.”

“Of course.” Anya says, looking the blonde in the eyes. “Thank you for taking care of her.”

“She’s my partner.” Clarke says with a shrug.  
The detective knows that there’s more to it than that. Sure, she would have done the same for anyone she was partnered with.. but the fear she felt, seeing Lexa hurt, not knowing if she was going to be okay. It chilled her to her core, Clarke hasn’t felt so unravelled by anything for as long as she can remember. The truth is she cares for Lexa, in the short time she has known her she has let the brunette completely consume her thoughts and work her way into her heart. Clarke can see Lexa’s loneliness, her sadness, she wants to hold her and make her smile, but at the same time she feels Lexa’s strength, the blonde feels safe in her partners presence, there’s a confidence and power that radiates from Lexa and Clarke finds herself desperately wanting to be close to her.

Clarke smiles and nods at Anya before she turns to walk away. The blonde only makes it halfway to the door when she hears a familiar voice behind her.

“Clarke.” Lexa’s voice is croaky as she speaks.

“Lexa.” Clarke turns and rushes back to the bed, taking Lexa’s hand in her own. “Hey.” Clarke smiles as her partners eyes flutter open.

Anya’s eyes go wide upon seeing her sisters ease at the physical contact from Clarke. Lexa has always been uncomfortable with people touching her, but when Clarke took her hand, the brunette gripped her partners hand back without hesitation. There’s definitely more going on here than she is aware, Anya discerns.

“Titus.” Lexa asks once she finds Clarke’s eyes.

“They’re operating on his leg now.” Clarke informs the brunette. “They’ll let us know as soon as he’s able to talk.”

“He can’t have contact with anyone.”

‘He won’t. I’ve given the officers watching him strict instructions.”

Lexa nods her head and relaxes back into her pillow a bit.

“I was just about to go.” Clarke begins.

“Clarke.” Lexa interrupts, her eyes sad, guilt evident in her voice. “I’m sorry.”

“Lexa.” Clarke says softly. “We can talk once you’re feeling better.”

“No Clarke.” Lexa insists. “there are things you need to know.. things I want to tell you.”

“Ach hem.” Anya clears her throat loudly, getting both girls attention.

“Anya.” Lexa says with wide eyes, having not even noticed that her sister was standing on the other side of the bed. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” Anya laughs. “You got shot you idiot.”

Lexa’s hand moves down to her side where the bullet went in.

“I can barely even feel it.” Lexa says. “It’s probably just a scratch.”

“It’s a bit more than a scratch.” Clarke says with a slight roll of the eyes. “But it’s not as bad as it could have been. You were lucky.”

Clarke looks down to where Lexa’s hand is on her side and her mind flashes back, seeing the black blood pouring out of her partner, with the fear of losing her partner now subsiding, suspicion is rising to the surface. Why had Lexa never told her that she has black blood? is it just a coincidence? It can’t be. Is she still being kept in the dark?

“We’ll talk.” Clarke says getting Lexa’s attention again. “Later. I’m going to go get some sleep.”

“Will you.” Lexa starts.

“I will let you know the second I hear about Titus.” Clarke says rolling her eyes again as she makes her way to the door.

“Thank you, Clarke.” Lexa calls after the blonde as she is about to exit the room.

Clarke turns and gives Lexa a small smile and Anya a nod before leaving the sisters alone.

*******

“What the hell’s going on there?” Anya turns and asks Lexa as soon as Clarke leaves.

“What do you mean?” Lexa says casually.

“I mean you and blondie.” Anya shoots back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh please!” Anya argues. “What were those heart eyes all about? I’ve never seen you make googly eyes like that before.. and the hands! Don’t even get me started on the touching!”

“I’m comfortable with her.” Lexa responds. “I don’t know.. I don’t know how to explain it.. I just..”

“You like her?” Anya finishes for her sister.

‘Well obviously I like her..”

“No, Lexa. You like her, like her.” Anya says teasingly.

“I don’t know.” Lexa sighs. “Look could we lay off on the 3rd degree. I’m injured.”

“You just said you couldn’t even feel it.” Anya replies.

“Well I can’t feel anything in my side, but I’m starting to feel a huge pain in my ass.” Lexa smirks up at her sister.

“Oh come on.” Anya says hoping up onto Lexa’s bed. “I never get to tease you about girls. Give me this.”

Lexa lets out a long sigh before rolling her eyes and looking at her sister who is ginning back at her. “What do you want to know?”

“Does she know how you feel?” Anya responds right away.

“I don’t know?” Lexa shrugs. “I guess. I mean we kissed. But then she found out about Aden..”

“You kissed!” Anya shrieks excitedly, but her excitement only last a millisecond before her face drops. “Wait! She found out about Aden?”

“She found his missing person file in my room.” Lexa admits. “We talked about it and she promised that she would not report it.”

“And you really trust her?” Anya asks, concern clear in her voice.

“I do.” Lexa replies. “She was upset that I had lied to her, but she understood.”

“Lexa. This makes me nervous.” Anya says softly. “But I trust you more than anyone. I know you would never do anything to jeopardize us finding Aden. So if you trust her that much… I’ll put my faith in her too.”

“I want to tell her everything Anya. I don’t want her to find out about me from anyone else, I want to tell her who I am.”

“That’s your call kiddo.” Anya smiles softly. “I’ve never seen anyone get to you like this before, so she must be something pretty special.”

“She is..” Lexa smiles to herself.

Anya spends the rest of the evening with Lexa, the sisters catch up on the case and Anya manages to drag a little more gossip about Clarke out of Lexa before the brunette decides it’s time to turn in for the night.

************

Clarke gets an early start the next day, checking out any locations on Roans list that are in the area. The blonde had popped into the hospital first thing to check on Titus, she was informed that he would be on heavy pain medication for at least the next 24 hours and would not be in a position to talk for at least that long. Clarke poked her head into Lexa’s room while she was there, but her partner was fast asleep, so Clarke let her be.

Knowing that Titus and the kids had been in the area in the last few days left Clarke feeling incredibly anxious, this is the closest they’ve been to finding them, but they really still have nothing solid to go on, at least not until they can talk to Titus. For all they know the rest of the group didn’t stop in the area at all, they might have kept moving, leaving Titus behind for some reason, as far as Clarke’s concerned they could be in Canada right now.

It feels like it’s been a long day when Clarke gets back to her hotel room at 7 o clock that evening, she thought about going to see Lexa at the hospital, but she had Anya there with her and in all honesty, Clarke doesn’t know if she’s ready for the conversation she has to have with Lexa. The blonde is scared to find out that Lexa is still lying to her, she doesn’t know if she could forgive her again. How could she? How many times can Clarke let Lexa break the same promise?

Clarke has just gotten out of the shower when she notices headlights out her window, wrapped in her towel she walks over to the window and peers out through the blinds. Much to her dismay Clarke sees Lexa exiting a taxi, her suitcase flung over her shoulder as she pays the driver.

“Are you kidding me?” Clarke gasps as she scrambles to find some clothes.

Lexa is exiting the reception area of the motel just as Clarke walks out of her room.

“Oh hey.” Lexa waves to her partner as she approaches.

“Lexa!” Clarke exclaims. “What are you doing out of the hospital!” Clarke asks as she snatches Lexa’s suitcase out of her hand.

“I asked if I could be realised and they said yes.” Lexa says matter of factly. “I told you it was just a scratch.”

“It was not just a scratch!” Clarke says sternly. “Jesus Lexa! You need to take care of yourself. this suitcase weighs a ton and you’re just throwing it around like it’s nothing.”

“Clarke.” Lexa says as she tries to snatch her bag back, unsuccessfully. “You’re over reacting.”

“What’s your room number?” Clarke asks.

“Seven” Lexa replies, holding her key up for Clarke to see.

“Well come on.” Clarke says, walking off in the direction of Lexa’s room, her partners suitcase tucked under her arm. Lexa’s room is only a few doors down from Clarke’s.  
Lexa unlocks the door and motions for Clarke to go in ahead of her. Clarke walks in and place Lexa’s suitcase down beside the bed.

“I can’t believe they just let you leave.” Clarke says when she turns to face her partner.

“Well it took a little convincing.” Lexa replies with a grin. “But I’m sure if they were really concerned they would have insisted I stay.”

“Hmm.” Clarke huffs “Well it’s your life.” The blonde knows she’s coming off a little harsh, but she can’t help it, she feels frustrated with Lexa being so careless with her body and is still feeling anxious about the fact that she still suspects Lexa is lying to her.

“I guess I’ll leave you to it.” Clarke mutters as she walks towards the door.

“Clarke, wait.” Lexa says before the blonde can reach the door.

Clarke turns to face her partner, finding it hard to look the brunette in the face, her eyes drift down, that’s when she notices the black blood seeping through Lexa’s white shirt.

“Lexa.” Clarke rushes over to her partner. ‘You’re bleeding!”

“Oh shit.” Lexa grumbles. “It’s nothing, probably just popped a stich.”

“Jesus Lexa.” Clarke growls. “Sit down. I’ll go grab my first aid kit.”

Lexa sits on the edge of the bed, Clarke is only gone for a minute before she returns with her first aid kit in hand.

“Lift your shirt.” Clarke instructs as she opens the kit and begins fishing around.

Lexa very cautiously pulls the bottom of her shirt up, trying not to reveal to much of her body, just enough for Clarke to be able to access her wound.  
The blonde notices some old scars on Lexa’s skin around the new wound, but doesn’t say anything about them. The doctor gently wipes away the fresh blood so she can see what damage Lexa has done to herself.

“it’s only one stitch, I can fix it up with the glue. But you should get it fixed up properly when we go back to the hospital in the morning.” Clarke instructs.

“Yes mam.” Lexa replies as she looks down at Clarke whom the brunette can’t help but think looks adorable as she concentrates on applying the glue.

“It’s not a joke Lexa.” Clarke scolds.

“Thank you for your concern Clarke.” Lexa replies. “But it’s really not that serious.”

“I’m a doctor Lexa.” Clarke snaps back “I know exactly how serious it is. you might be able to lie to me about everything else, but not this.”

Lexa’s heart sinks hearing the venom in Clarke’s tone and the room grows very tense, very quickly.

“Clarke.” Lexa says.

“Don’t.” Clarke gets up from the bed and takes a few steps away from her partner. “Honestly Lexa. I can’t hear anymore lies. I just can’t”

“I don’t want to lie to you Clarke.”

“Funny.” Clarke scoffs. “Cause that doesn’t seem to stop you.”

“I’m serious Clarke.” Lexa replies. “I’m done with the secrets. I want you to know everything.” Lexa stands from the bed and moves her hands to the bottom of her shirt and begins undoing the bottom button.

“What are you doing?" Clarke asks, her eyes going wide as Lexa’s hands move up to undo the next button.

“I’m going to show you something.” Lexa says, as her hands continue up her shaking fingers are causing to her fumble over the buttons. Clarke looks up to at her partner and can see moisture building in the corners of her big green eyes.

Lexa’s has just finished undoing the final button and is about to pull her shirt open when Clarke lunges forward and grabs a hold of Lexa’s hands, holding them still. Lexa finds Clarke’s blue orbs and the blonde feels her heart breaking at the fear and vulnerability evident in her partners eyes

“Lexa.” Clarke whispers. “Whatever this is.. you don’t have to show me.”

“I want to Clarke.” Lexa says back so quietly Clarke only just hears her.

“Okay.” Clarke nods and takes a step back from the girl.

Lexa opens her shirt and peels it over her shoulders before letting it drop down her arms onto the ground, her top half now only partially covered by her black sport bra.

Clarke tries not let a gasp escape her mouth as she takes in the sight before her. Lexa’s entire torso is covered in Scars, a countless amount. Clarke’s eyes slowly scan over Lexa’s body taking it all in, after a moment Clarke walks around the brunette to find her back is covered too. The scars are all different shapes and sizes, some short and wide, some so long they wrap around her entire body, some look like burn marks, brandings of some kind, not to mention the crude black tattoo that runs along the length of her spine or the smaller one that wraps around her right bicep. It’s all too familiar. Clarke recognises these marking right away as matching the ones that she discovered on the young girl that started this entire investigation for her.

“Lexa.” Clarke says when once she is standing infront of her again. Lexa looks up to see Clarke's eyes wide with shock and dis belief.

“Luna didn’t win the conclave Clarke.” Lexa finally speaks. “I did. I killed Luna in the conclave and when I escaped the Ice nation I took her identity.”

“Lexa.” Clarke’s mouth falls open as she tries to form words, but nothing comes out.

“Anya is the only person in my life who knows the truth about who I am. She moved us to Polis so I could have a chance at a normal life.” Lexa looks at Clarke to see if she’s going to say anything, but the blonde is still just looking over her body, dumbfounded.  
“I never wanted to hide anything from you Clarke. But this isn’t easy for me. I never planned to have a partner on this case. I never expected that I would end up trusting and respecting you as a person and a detective as much as I do. I have hated myself for lying to you, and I hope that you can understand that It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you, It’s because I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed of the things I’ve done and I didn’t want you to know that part of me. For you this is a case, and I know you are invested and you care, but Clarke, this is my life.”

Lexa waits again for Clarke to say something, but the blonde is still just staring at her, Lexa is feeling self-conscious under Clarke’s unrelenting stare, so she defensively brings her arms up to cover her mid section.

“I know it’s not pretty.” Lexa murmurs.

Clarke looks up at Lexa, she can see her partners cheeks glowing red despite the fact she’s looking firmly down at the ground.

“No Lexa.” Clarke steps closer pulls Lexa’s arms away before finding her partners hands and interlocking them with her own. “It’s not that. It’s just a lot to process.”

Lexa looks up and meets Clarke’s eyes. they don’t look angry, which is what the brunette had been expecting, they look sad and sympathetic, which almost makes Lexa feel worse.

Clarke releases one of Lexa’s hands. “Can I?” The blonde asks as she raises her hand up until it’s hovering over one of the scars that runs from the top of Lexa’s shoulder, down over her collarbone before disappearing behind the black fabric of her bra.

Lexa flinches when Clarke’s fingers make contact with her skin, only slightly but enough for Clarke to look up and find her eyes. Lexa gives the blonde a slight nod of her head to confirm that she is okay with the contact.

Clarke looks back to where her finger tips rest on Lexa’s shoulder, she lightly traces over the scar tissue. ‘How deep were these cuts? how could anyone survive this’. Clarke thinks to herself as her fingers bump along the embossed skin.

Lexa can feel tears welling up in her eyes, having someone touch her so carefully, so intimately, it has her feeling overwhelmed. No one has touched her like this since Costia, she never even realised how desperately she missed physical contact until this moment.

As hard as Lexa tries to control her emotions and avoid the embarrassment of crying infront of Clarke, she cannot, and Clarke looks up just in time to see a single tear rolling down Lexa’s right cheek.  
Without even thinking Clarke leans in and kisses Lexa’s cheek, tasting the saltiness of the girls tear on her lips, the blonde slides her left hand along the side of Lexa’s neck until her fingers are pushing up into the hair at the base of Lexa’s neck. Lexa leans in so her forehead is resting against Clarke’s.

“I’m sorry Clarke.” Lexa whispers against her partners lips. “I wanted to tell you sooner… I just didn’t want you to think of me differently. I didn’t want you to think I was a monster.”

“The people who did this to you are the monsters Lexa.” Clarke says as she leans back so she can look at Lexa, who looks about as vulnerable as anyone she’s ever seen before.

Clarke wants to reassure Lexa that her feelings for her haven’t changed, that she still see’s her the same way she always has. Without giving it too much thought Clarke leans in and gently presses her lips against Lexa’s, her heart rate picks up when she feels Lexa’s lips tremble against her own before the brunette begins to move to kiss Clarke back. Lexa slides her fingers into Clarke’s blonde locks and deepens the kiss, Clarke’s hands land on Lexa’s hips, the blonde gives her partner a moment to adjust to the contact before she begins to move her hands, letting them glide along Lexa’s lower back before pushing up along her sides grazing past her bra then back down and wrapping gently around her mid-section, holding her closely, but not too tightly, being wary of the girls fresh wound.

Clarke feels Lexa’s entire body quiver when she slides her tongue into the brunette’s mouth, Lexa is quick to respond, meeting Clarke’s tongue with her own. Clarke feels one of Lexa’s hands move from her hair, down to her waist, the brunette grips Clarke’s waist tightly and pulls her in closer to her body. The action sends a wave of heat straight to Clarke’s core. The kiss which started of delicate and chaste has quickly turned heated, both girl are panting and moaning as their hands desperately grope and tug at one another, trying to close any gaps left between them. Lexa can’t get enough of Clarke touching her, every new inch of flesh that the blonde’s hands skim over feels like it’s catching fire.

Lexa begins moving them towards the bed, it’s only when the back of Clarke’s legs hit the bed that the blonde stops to take a breath.

“Wait Lexa.” Clarke breathes.

The girls take a moment to look at one another, both women are breathing heavily, hair messed and eyes dark. It takes every ounce of will power that Clarke has, not to let Lexa push her onto the bed and continue what she was doing.

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asks.

“Lexa. We can’t.” Clarke blurts out.

Lexa takes a step back from the blonde. “I’m sorry. I thought.”

“You thought right Lexa.” Clarke says re-assuringly. “We’re on the same page here. It’s just that you’re injured.” Clarke motions towards the wound on Lexa’s side. “And I’m.. well I still have a lot to process.”

“Of course.” Lexa replies quickly before bending down to pick up her shirt of the ground.

“Um maybe we could just talk a bit?” Clarke asks sheepishly.

“Yes, Of course.” Lexa replies as she slides her shirt back on and begins to button up. “I’m sure you have lots of questions.”

“I do.”

“Make yourself comfortable.” Lexa offers, “I’ll just have a quick shower to wash the hospital off me. I’ll be 5 minutes.”

*********

Lexa returns from the bathroom in grey track suit pants and a white t shirt, her damp hair hanging loosely on her shoulders. Clarke has kicked her shoes off and is sitting on the bed.

“Is this okay?” Clarke asks.

“Yeh of course.” Lexa replies as she climbs onto the opposite side of the bed and leans up against the bed head.

Lexa takes a deep breath before looking over at Clarke. “So. Where do you want to begin?”

 

*******

The two detectives talk for hours. Lexa starts from the beginning, explaining the circumstances of her abduction, how she tried to fight in the beginning and the things that Nia did to keep her in line. She answers every question Clarke asks and it feels amazing being so open. Clarke isn't judging her, she's just listening. The girls had started the evening sitting on opposite ends of the bed, but now they are sitting together in the middle, they’re legs resting against each other and their hands entwined. Clarke had taken Lexa’s hand when she was recounting a particularly painful memory and then they just stayed like that.

“Crap.” Clarke says after looking at her phone. “It’s 1am!”

“You’re kidding!” Lexa replies.

“Oh god.” Clarke moans “I apologize in advance for my mood tomorrow. I don’t function well on less than 8 hours.”

“I think I can handle grumpy Clarke.” Lexa smiles at the blonde.

“Well I guess I should get back to my own room.” Clarke says. But neither girl lets the other go. In fact Clarke swears she feels Lexa’s grip tighten. “I mean, Unless…”

“Unless.” Lexa looks at the blonde hopefully.

Clarke considers asking to stay the night, she doesn’t want to leave the brunette after such an emotionally exhausting evening, but on the other hand she can tell Lexa is drained, so maybe it would be best to leave her to get a good night sleep. Not to mention the fact that spending the evening in bed with Lexa, could be problematic for a number of reason, her intense physical attraction to the brunette not the least of which

“Umm…nothing.” Clarke mumbles as she gently pulls her hand away from Lexa’s.

“Oh, okay.” Lexa replies, trying not to show her disappointment.

Clarke shuffles to the edge of the bed and puts her shoes back on. Lexa stands up to walk the blonde to the door.

“Thank you, Clarke.” Lexa says when they reach the door. “For listening, for understanding.”

“Thank you.” Clarke replies. “For talking to me. For trusting me.”

Lexa smiles softly at her partner. She’s not really sure what to do next, she wants desperately to lean in and kiss her, but she’s not really sure if that would be appropriate, sure they’ve kissed twice now, but Lexa isn’t really sure what that means.

Before she has to worry about it too much Clarke leans in and places a soft kiss on the corner of Lexa’s mouth.

“Goodnight Lexa.” Clarke says with a slight smirk as she walks out the door.

“Goodnight Clarke.”


End file.
